And wallowing in it doesn’t help
Have you ever faced true hardship? How have your experiences, both good and bad, shaped you as a person? Here in UWCSEA, we lead incredibly privileged lives in a bubble shielded from the tragedies of the world – poverty, hunger, and war. And while we should be beyond grateful that we do not face suffering often, we must also admit that those who have survived hardship have developed incredible strength that we should both admire and learn from. In other words, difficult experiences can indeed make people much stronger and more able than they ever were before, bringing a more fulfilling and successful life to them. And no two examples stand stronger than that of artists Danny Raven Tan and Christina Lau – both having gone through tragedy and both having come out on the other side stronger than before.
NO – The Next Opportunity – Christina Lau
Christina Lau was a prison officer, living an outgoing, happy life, until 2005, when she was paralysed from the chest down following a terrible car accident in Malaysia. Having been a participant in sporting activities, and in a physically demanding job, she was devastated by the news that her paralysis would mean she could no longer walk. Spending more than 10 days in the ICU, she “sank into depression”, a depression born of her feelings of worthlessness and her fear of being a burden to her family who would now have to take care of her. But through her own personal strength and the support of her loved ones, she struggled to start over. She picked up mouth painting – despite having had no experience painting in her previous life – and this proved to be a hidden talent that she wasted no time in developing. Today, she is a gifted and certified mouth artist, participating in wheelchair table tennis, advocates for disabled rights and speaks to many about her experience and how she had grown as a result of it. With her motto of “you can if you want” and her high aspirations of playing olympic disabled table tennis, she is living proof of growing strength through hardship. Her decision to try something completely new as well as to use her experience as a talking point in her advocacy speaks much to this developed strength. Her example continues to inspire people everywhere to fight hardship, and to look at the word FAIL as the “First Attempt In Learning”, the word END as “Effort Never Dies”, and the word NO as “Next Opportunity”.
Christina Lau, Painting An example of Christina’s work
From pancreatic cancer to dementia – Danny Raven Tan
In a small nook of Ang Mo Kio, one can find the Tiffin Gallery, hosted by Danny Raven Tan – a local Singaporean artist with an interesting story to tell. Danny graduated NUS with a degree in building estate management, which he used in his property development job. But his artistic mind which was as he says “created to create” was never satisfied with this type of work. He left it and worked intermittently in various other interesting jobs – working in the fashion industry, which he left, describing it as “too plastic”, applying for and shortlisted for a job at Versace shortly before Versace’s untimely death, and joining Singapore’s prestigious Lasalle College of the Arts. In 2010, Danny faced his first tribulation – he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. With his friends, and with his three key tenets of strength, faith and wisdom, Danny managed to push through this incredibly difficult time. Even now, after beating cancer, he looks physically diminished by his disease, but Danny refuses to capitulate, seeing his scars as his evidence of his survival, and absolutely refusing to “wallow in his own s***”. It was this attitude that has kept him going, his strong will allowing him to confront first his cancer, and now, his mother’s dementia. Aside from running the Tiffin Gallery – an intimate home gallery through which he displays his art – he also takes care of his mother in her deteriorating mental state, and advocates for greater awareness in the public sphere for dementia. The hardships he has faced and still faces now have both strengthened him and informed his art – art that speaks to various issues he feels passionately for. Truly, Danny’s scars represent the effects of hardship – permanent marks of both defect and survival.
A selection from Danny Raven Danny Raven Tan, in the Tiffin Gallery Tan’s collection “The Gods are Crying”
Hardship in the Bubble
Difficulties will always find us in life, and there is not much we can do to avoid them. But to be dismayed by them when they do come is to admit defeat. Instead, what we must do is to learn from the examples of both Danny and Christina in their survival of hardship, and their use of their hardship to strengthen them as people. The common denominators of both their stories include can-do attitudes, a willingness to explore and try new things, refusal to allow oneself to wallow in self-pity, and the support of loved ones. These are all key factors in facing hardship with the grace and grit that both Danny and Christina have shown. Further, it is important that we not only view our trials as issues to be resolved, but as teachable moments from which much can be drawn. Danny and Christina both had developed new outlooks on their lives from their hardship, and it is in doing so that they have become the people they are today. So when hardships truly come, we should strive to emulate Danny and Christina’s examples – and through these hardships, grow stronger.