We chase some words like they are running away from us. Some words, we long to get off our tails, and run faster and faster until they are faint dots on the horizon. Perfection, excellence, brilliance. All words we chase till we can’t run anymore. Lazy, stupid, ignorant. Words that follow us everywhere we go, ones we try to shake off at the earliest opportunity. But in the end, all of these are just words. Words that we think have the ability to define us.
“It doesn’t matter what we are, it matters what we do.”
– Soman Chainani, The School for Good and Evil
This is a quote from my favorite book series. One that taught me that we aren’t good or evil, or lazy or perfect; we are human. We always have been. The lines between good and evil aren’t lines after all — it’s always been a gradient. I’d like to believe that my life is a gradient; one thing leads to another, and nothing is ever set in stone. I want to keep running after my dreams, whether that be becoming an astronomer, a fashion designer or a biomedical engineer. All my dreams blend with each other, a colourful gradient of the mind, and of what’s to come. At this point, I don’t know my career path, but I know the person I want to be when I grow up. I want to be someone who can work with others, someone who is empathic, someone who can help and give. Someone who’s passionate, happy and confident with who she is.
My first love were the stars. As I grew up and gained awareness of the world, I realised that the answers to the questions of the universe lay in the stars, in space. I’m not sure how it started. I think it was through the book fair in my previous school. My dad bought me a set of 20 books; the Horrible Science series. Through them, I learnt about all things science, from the brain to electricity. And, astronomy and space. Recently, I watched an alumni talk and found that Astrophysics was something that interested me. Until a few years ago, I had always been a one word sentence, full stops separating me from the rest. I’d never had a problem playing or working by myself, probably by virtue of the fact that I am an only child. I never thought working with others could make something better – I was always of the stream of thinking that if you want something done, do it yourself. I realise now that this isn’t true. I’m surrounded by so many people who make my life better, my family, my gymnastics team and my friends. I’ve realised that I do want to work with others now; even in my future career.
I think the most important thing that UWC has taught me is how to be confident. This year, I have hosted three assemblies, as part of Student Voice. This year, I’ve learnt to be able to stand in front of a crowd. This was something alien to me in the years previous, standing up and talking without a script. The spoken word simply does not come as well to me as the written word does. It’s hard to perfect your words if they’re listened to the moment they leave your mouth. With public speaking, I’ve learnt to let go of that perfection; if only for a moment.
At the moment, I want to go to university and study astrophysics and engineering. And I know I have a lot to do to achieve this. What I’m going to do to set myself up for this future, is read about jobs in these areas, and read about what interests me. Right now, I get lost in the words that lure me to different lands, and different lives. But I would like to lose myself in words that inform me. I’m going to read articles and books, all about astronomy and engineering and physics. I think the best way to prepare for my future is to immerse myself in it. I want to learn to love the facts and opinions, by reading, listening and taking them in. For example, I try to read articles online about these things, but instead of letting them come to me, I want to actively search for them.
I’ve always been a reader. I get lost in the words and the pages, the chapters blurring into an ombre painting. But the thing about a story is that each part, each piece sets the others up for success. Stories have taught me that for each chapter, each page, you need to build. I want to take this knowledge, and build up myself for the next chapter of my life – the future, whenever and wherever that may be.