What is Loneliness?

Dear Lily,

Loneliness is being half-complete, being able to do what seemingly everyone can do – walk, talk, breathe, eat and sleep – and yet having your feet nailed to the ground in the middle of a sea of people, watching everyone around you basking in a soft warmth, a low hum of pleasant voices buzzing around you. Seeds of jealousy and hatred blossom inside you, their thorns squeezing your heart, compressing it, making you feel smaller and meaner. Loneliness is imprisonment. Loneliness, in essence, is having nothing and no one.

Sometimes loneliness is used as a punishment. The biggest threats to society are put in ‘self-isolation’ in prison. The excuse of ‘they’ll hurt someone’ or ‘they’ll be hurt by someone’ is used to justify this choice of torture. They’re told to ‘reflect’ on their behavior, but often times, the ringing sound silence makes in their ears 24 hours a day makes them even more dangerous than they were before.

Some will try to convince themselves that their loneliness is a gift, that they have time to focus on work and the ‘things that matter’. That they can push limits and bask solely in all the glory. Yet, for all of them, there is a strange emptiness, deep down, an itching to be loved and cared for, and to love and care in return. Others will try to fill this empty void, perhaps with a pet or a potted plant, a little something to take up space and care for. 

It’s not easy to break free from the chains of loneliness. But it’s possible. Not by finding the weak links in the chains, but finding the hidden strengths you have. Perhaps a unique talent, a special skill or your distinctive personality. Developing more strengths incites confidence, admiration and other feelings that slowly erase the pain.

Elizabeth

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