I have always had a deep emotional feeling towards Sweden and even sort of the Nordic culture as a whole. Many do have patriotic or nationalistic feelings towards their countries and even if we don’t choose our nationality in may cases or how we are born, I do still think in some ways, a little bit of patriotism or at least being proud of one’s nation is perfectly fine. It’s only when the nationalistic ideas become too idealised or even worse chauvinism and prejudiced values against others or racist and xenophobic ideas with an illusion that the nationalistic ideas are better for all. Of course, I do acknowledge my political bias that may affect some of the ideas I express and in some ways contradicting to some of the feels I have towards Sweden.  A few days ago I took a political compass test for the parties in Sweden, and not surprisingly the first three parties that came up were the Green Party, Feminist Initiative and the Left Party, all of which are very leftist ideas and the left party used to be the communist party, which dangerously makes me worried. But the Green Party doesn’t sound too bad.

Anyways, the real reason that I want to talk about Sweden is that this year, I will not be able to go back to Sweden over the summer. It is the first time in all of my family, even my parents, that we don’t go back to Sweden over the summer. We always go back and for me, it is the highlight of the year. My family (actually, I’ll refer to my family in Sweden has Sweden Family from now to limit confusion) we’re not all exactly from Sweden, but we all have ties to it in some ways whether it is a relative, immigrating to Sweden or being born there. I am incredibly lucky and incredibly privileged to come from an amazing nation like Sweden, that like it’s Nordic neighbours values sustainability, equality and human rights as fundamental in their politics and culture. I know that comparing too much can bad, but for me personally, Sweden is one of the best countries, perhaps not the best, but definitely among the top 5. There are of course many things that Sweden needs to work on and could learn from other countries and I honestly believe there is always something a person can be proud of their culture or nation. Every nation has something good and perfectly fine to feel proud of it.

In my extended essay, I wrote a world studies essay with a focus on the research question: How have design principles of Tesla car designs and its fundamental environmental ideology, been so successful in Norway despite the influence of fossil fuels s on politics and our society?

For me this was the perfect research question, not only was I utilising the concepts from my two favourite subjects, ESS and DT, but also focusing on the Nordic culture and looking into one of my favourite companies—Tesla. In some ways, this really related to the sort of career I am interested in.  I want to live life but also to help others and especially the environment around me. I want to feel that I have importance and that I am giving back to the earth while still enjoying all the wonders of life. However, I have a ton of other interests like design, the humanities, science, music and art. In some ways, architecture with a focus on the environment can incorporate humanist and most importantly environmental principles while still being able to express and learn many of my interests. I hope this is the right choice because the only things I can think of that would make me feel in some ways worthy and giving back to the earth and to our societies would either be some sort of environmental activist or somehow have a huge influence in politics and society like being a politician or something similar. But for now, architecture seems to be the way to go because I can give the platform for profound change in terms fo the environment and also to our societies as well. 

It seems like I am rambling but all of these things relate to Sweden. I have such an emotional and sentimental attachment to Sweden that I am actually worried about how it may affect me later on in life. I am considering to take a Gap year and the possibility of working and living in Sweden greatly interests me and even studying in Sweden. I am even willing to learn Danish to study at an amazing art and design school in Denmark to be close to my family. KADK, a university in Copenhagen, would be my first choice because not only is it an amazing university, but it is the university that is closest to my Sweden family. We all live around a province called Skåne except for my family in Singapore and my aunt in France. I could literally after class take a train over the øresundsbro (the bridge connecting Malmö and København or Copenhagen) to my cousins that would take me about an hour or less. That possibility makes it so, so attractive. 

Not going to Sweden this summer is really tough for me than perhaps other people. Of course, I do acknowledge there are people who have it significantly much worse (which I will focus later on in this post because it is important!) than me and my family. Some people live alone and can’t visit their family or even friends and others may be in a more difficult emotional struggle. I am not saying that I haven’t tough and you should feel sorry because you shouldn’t. What I am trying to say, is that the attachment I have to Sweden is so strong that it can blind me sometimes and puts a heavyweight on my but in no way makes other people lesser than me or that pity should be felt. My whole family here in Singapore are all very sad about this, even my father who normally is able to look forward and not dwell on the past or nostalgic attachments. I cry very often nowadays and sometimes even to the smallest things. For instance, I talked to my grandmother and in the background, I heard her radio play the music for P1 i Sommar which instantly made me collapse in tears and bawling for several minutes. Just that little song in the background can affect me so much. I watched a Danish documentary on the SVT or the Swedish national public television broadcaster, funded by a public service tax on personal income set by the Riksdag. Even hearing danish makes me feel sad. Why? Well, perhaps it is because of the fact that the Danish language along with Norwegian is very similar to Swedish so that it is almost just dialects (in fact, it is difficult sometimes to distinguish a dialect or a different language in Scandinavia because they are so similar. A Norwegian and Swede living on the border would understand much better than that Norwegian understanding another Norwegian on the coast). So it reminds of my Sweden and thus makes me sad. Or perhaps it reminds me of the Nordic culture and how every summer, we fly to Copenhagen and take the train to Sweden and since I hear danish all the time, that makes me feel sad.

My Sweden family on my father’s side has a WhatsApp group called the Familjetråden or the Family Thread. There, they often post pictures and comments about things happening around the neighbourhood and so on as with any social media. Usually, it made me feel happy to scroll through sometimes, longing for going back to Sweden and a great chance to connect. Actually now we weekly have Zoom meetings to catch up on things, but to be honest it is more a fun thing for them and a necessity almost for us in Singapore, my aunt in France and my grandparents (as they are not allowed to go out as much as other people in Sweden, which I will get back to). But now, my family and I are wondering if we should even be on this thread because how often we might get angry or sad.

It may seem weird why I or even my family would have such an attachment to Sweden but I think where most of it comes from, is the summer in Sweden. For most of the year, Sweden isn’t all that amazing, sure sometimes there might be something interesting like Jul or Sankta Lucia in the winter, skiing in the spring, and the small things that are great with each season whether that is the beauty of a forest in autumn or the snow and ice in the winter. Most the year is quite dark and grey and cold, but during the summer that’s when all of that changes. A lot of Swedes have sort of a cultural attachment and tradition in some way to the summer. And this is no different to what happens during my time in the summer. I have made a post about it two years ago here and it is quite embarrassing and awkward at times in the post. But in summary, the summer in Sweden is so action-packed in some ways, relaxing in others, sentimental in one way but also the gaining of new experiences in another. It is also a very shared experience of many in Sweden and the atmosphere is also very mysigt or hygge or the mood of cosiness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment. It is very difficult to describe, but summer isn’t just a time for like summer camps or sunbathing on the beach or anything like that. I feel like there is something different with summer in Sweden for me personally that makes it so hard to let go of, even if it will be just two years that I haven’t been in Sweden if things change next year. The posts show that it is not something I have felt now but something for a long time. It is really special.

That’s why it makes me so happy to think about Sweden and in some ways patriotic about the facts about Sweden and the Nordic region. Perhaps the combination of the time I have in Sweden during the summer, my sentimental personality and the privileged position of being able to very proud of Sweden because of it’s culture, that makes me feel what I do about Sweden.

I look at what my Sweden family is doing despite the Covid-19 pandemic and it does make me a bit jealous and angry at times. Sweden didn’t have a draconian lockdown and instead placed trust in citizens to abide by social distancing, this largely worked but there were more heavy losses than other Nordic neighbours. Now restrictions have eased a bit and my Sweden family are out an about going to cafes and restaurants, taking a boat to an island to fish crabs or go camping or explore the wildness. Some are going to the mountains to go BMX riding, others are sleeping in a boat. Some may be going to summer camps and others are relaxing on the beach and swimming now that the weather has turned. Some are having parties with friends or with family even at my grandmother’s house. Other are having their final day of school and celebrating with pastries. Some may have travelled north to the woods to hunt animals while others going south to their cabins. Some may be going east to their island retreats and others go west to Denmark to visit family. This is just one of many other things they have and might very well be doing this summer. This may seem a lot, but this is like an average weekend during the summer. It is absolutely amazing and I am extremely lucky to be able to have that experience once in a while or rather every summer. Yes, it does make me jealous but I should not dwell on it. But it also makes me happy that I have a family who is so tightly knit and cares for each other. A family where I can let loose and become almost a different person. At school I am quite shy and closed off, at home in Singapore or home in Sweden, I am as extroverted I am introverted at school. I laugh, play and have fun with my cousins who are of all ages and there is so much more I would like to say, but I’ll stop for now. For me personally, Sweden is absolutely amazing.

I am very lucky as I have said, that I have this experience with Sweden, and along with the privileged nature of myself, not only because of my skin colour and heritage, but also because my family is financially stable and there haven’t been any major conflict is my relationships or learning, I have a feeling it doesn’t truly justify that I should feel this way. What I mean is that compared to many other people, I don’t have it bad at all. Take for instance the black people living in America and even other parts of the world who experience structural and sustained racism throughout their history and by institutions. This injustice and the difficulty that many experience, is something I can never truly understand. My experiences could never be compared to those in fear of discrimination and its death and dehumanisation effects. I stand in solidarity like many in my community and acknowledge the pain and suffering of these effects. This is just one example of many. I absolutely do not have it bad or am in any form stripped of my dignity or human rights. Thus, the important thing is to use my privileged position to give back and help others, not to exploit it. To recognise and be self-aware and to not ignore.

I guess my summary is that I should be proud of my heritage and it is fine to be sad about not going to Sweden. But with that said, this sadness should not drain or consume me and to use my privileged position to give back and help others and the environment around me.