How might you provide a clear thesis statement connected to themes, a clearly related topic sentence, and a building of ideas?
- one of the key point missing in my essay was establishment of one main thematic idea where my all thesis strands point out to. Also providing a concluding statement that links to my theme/idea while also making sure that it connects to my next idea in the next paragraph.
How might you avoid simple description/summary?
- Use and stick to Point, Evidence, Analysis to avoid description.
- Do not provide statement without providing any evidence and evaluation.
How might you avoid making historical or cultural comments and assumptions? – reference to a main theme/idea?
- By providing more evidence and evaluating the points by focusing on the main thematic idea.
- Backup assumptions with evidence to unpack and make statement stronger.
- Unpacking evidence and analysing rather than making assumptions with weak points.
I will be mainly using the feedback I got from my teacher for the first draft to improve my final essay. Applying all the discussions and changes that I needed to make for thesis strands and thematic ideas will be put into the final essay for better written work.
Main things I need to work on:
- work on introduction properly. – follow the feedback
- use of literary technique?
- how can you stay organised with the structure?
- point out specific thesis strands in the beginning of the paragraph
- backup all thesis strands using PEA
- avoid making assumptions and historical comments – not too much
- need a concluding statement after every paragraph that connects to the idea/theme and also connecting to the idea that you are going to talk about in the next paragraph.
- need an overall one “Theme” that your essay is focusing on.
- need to show how “so what” – how does this portrayal of women connect to a theme? without this, becomes description/summary