My time in grade 9 has helped me delve deeper into what I truly want to do in the future. As we had finally gotten to experience choosing our subjects, it created a much greater sense of independence for me especially. As I have grown up, I have always been told to not depend too heavily on others, and on this lifestyle, as unless I work hard my life won’t always be this valuable. My parents tell me this all the time, and I suppose that is what has pushed me to keep going. Having grown up in Singapore my whole life, I have always had a feeling of safety and security surrounding me. Whether this is a good or bad thing is still uncertain, but one thing is for sure, it has impacted my views on the world and people around me. As I was born and brought up here, I haven’t experienced many things people may classify as struggles. I have always felt lucky to have been born into a life like this, where I have my parents to help me through all the small bumps in the road, even if they may not size up to things other people have had to experience.
Every day, there is almost this lingering feeling of uneasiness held in me for the unforeseeable future. “It’s the unforeseeable that creates the event”. I have always held this quote close to my heart. To me, it’s almost like the fear of the future is what pushes me in the present. Continuously keeping me in the right direction. This constant “fear” is something I have mainly received from my parents. They are the biggest influences in my life and the decisions I make daily. I always aspired to be like them someday, happily married with kids, and a job that I love. I hope to never waste a second of my time doing something I don’t want. They have stuck by me through all my ups and downs, and every time I decide to modify my goals, they have adjusted with me, helping me to fully comprehend my next decision.
Having only lived in Singapore, I haven’t experienced many of the things that others have, but when I started learning about these things in school it astonished me to think about what others have had to go through and face. One of the main times I realised this was when I went to India, as the way I had to behave was so much different. My parents didn’t allow me to do many things such as go out alone, eat street food, and talk to strangers. This was quite different for me as all of these things would have been fine if I was in Singapore. This was my big ‘aha moment’ as it made me comprehend the truth of what had been ‘hidden’ from me since I was young, and recently has helped me realise what direction I wanted to take my life in. My goal has always been to find a job that excites me, whilst also helping as many people around me as I can. I would not only want to make sure that my family is protected, but especially in a time like this while the COVID-19 virus is still such a prominent issue. I have seen how many people don’t get the help they need due to a variety of reasons, and I would like to be one of the people who can help solve problems like cancer or find solutions to things that have yet to be discovered.
I have often struggled with making decisions. As I am still young and have yet to make many of the choices in my life. In the past few years, I have come to realise that I am still unsure of what I want to do with my life. People often pass off my problems as smaller since I am still growing, but to me, they are still huge. Not knowing where I am going to be in 2 years, let alone 10 years, can drive someone crazy. Furthermore, whenever I have come to a decision, I have found something preventing me from moving forward. Whether it is money, or discovering something else I want to do, there is always something coming in my way.
Since I was young, science has always been my favourite subject, especially biology. Even during units that I have not been as fond of, I have gone in with an open mind. From a younger age, doing something medical was not one of my passions as I did not like seeing blood, but I always wanted to do something that would help people. Less than a year ago, I started getting more interested in the medical industry and being a surgeon. Watching TV shows has given me many ideas of what I could do in the future, such as microbiology, but medicine was probably the first thing I had the most interest in. Recently, however, I have not been so sure about my decisions, and I have been looking into ways I can branch out in this industry, without having someone’s life so precariously in my hands, such as oncology. As I continue forward, this will be one of my main approaches in the foreseen future.
Throughout this year I have learnt about many new topics in science that I may want to continue to do. I hope that going forward I will be able to make my decisions better by comparing my options, without being too scared of the consequences. Many people think that they are impetuous – which is something I used to be, but I believe that nowadays I think too much about things, and I could take more risks. I believe that by continuing to work hard in my science subjects, whilst also researching for courses I could take, and different fields I could enter, I can find an alternative that I would truly be content with. I aspire to never lose interest in my current passions such as basketball, piano, and math, and to take these on with me wherever life takes me. “Good decisions come from experience, but experience comes from making bad decisions.”