As the sessions were conducted, we were introduced to more interesting facts about the Alumni Foundation and how they have been keeping up with their activities every year while still connecting with many other alumnus. For instance, I found it very fun and unique when we took photos of how we would look like or where we see ourselves in 10 years from now. At first, I didn’t get why we were taking photo right now for something that we would take only after 10 years but I came to realise that it was for our reunion, our memories and featuring our diverse cultural backgrounds which made me feel fascinated.
Career week was another activity that I found it very fun and engaging. Even though we had career week last year in grade 11, a lot of things and my plan for what I want to study in college have changed so at that time and this time I was exploring my new interests in the area of Aerospace engineering. Since I recently found out about my interest in Aerospace engineering, I was hoping to get to talk with other people who have studied Aerospace engineering or who had the similar interest as mine. Fortunately, career week was around and when we were given the opportunity to choose our own interest of area to go as a Grade 12 student facilitator, I took advantage of it and was able to attend/facilitate two Alumni sessions in the area of Aerospace engineering. I have learned skills in taking lead as the facilitator even though I was very nervous but at the same time, because of my interests in wanting to get to know more about Aerospace engineering along with other grade 10s and 11s, my nervousness turned into excitement. I am very thankful for giving us this opportunity to get to know and connect with our East Alumni and helping on our way to college life. I look forward to learn and engage in more activities in the future sessions.
Being able to continue softball after all the challenges we had to face in 2019 was the best thing. Due to restrictions, I thought we won’t be able to play any of the sports I like but I was very happy to join softball again. Even though we didn’t get to train and the play a lot last year, I was at least able to develop my skills and performance as beginner which developed my interest in wanting to learn more this year.
During the first two sessions (2020), in just short period of time, I have started to improve my weak skills which were mainly the batting and body posture while still maintaining high stability in the lower body part after batting. I have come to realise my weaknesses which hindered my performance in softball in the second session when we practised developing skills on batting. While there are still many areas where I really need practise to improve my performance, the session on batting skills have given me motivation and passion to learn, develop and improve my skills and performance in the future. I look forward to upcoming training and practise sessions.
The Journey of Lifetime – Text 2
How might you edit your work to maintain precise vocabulary, spelling, grammar?
- Study the use of literary devices and alternative vocabulary from the resources on the OLP
- careful on writing choice of vocabularies and grammar . –> not making simple mistakes
How might you identify ideas/themes being developed and create a clear thesis centered on theme?
- Read the text – understand- identify what the author is trying to tell the readers (bigger theme) – then connect with one of the 7 concepts or Global issues- come up with thesis strands.
How might you unpack the text type conventions of the core story/ articles to help connect them to ideas/theme?
- By looking into how the text type (eg: article) features affect the story of the author.
- Eg: looking into (knowledge from news, media, bias) and how does that affect the intended audience
How might you avoid simply providing a summary of the article and create insightful analysis?
- commenting more on the diction, style or tone, noticing for example the use of personification or anthropomorphism, of sensationalism, hyperbole, humour
Connecting bigger ideas using any one 7 concepts or use of any one global issues
- Close analysis is missing – got the same score last time
- Establishing a theme that the thesis statements connect to
- Having a concluding statement after every paragraph.
- Unpack – more evidence – Visual (heading placement, layout, etc) and Lexical elements
- How do visual and lexical elements connect to create themes or provide ideas?
- How does authorial choice shape meaning?
- Work on sentence structure.
- Use of precise terminologies and literary devices.
- Working on unpacking and analysis – through analysing/ pre-studying the 7 concepts and also the global issues. So that I can center around my main ideas around them.
- Use of correct and appropriate vocabulary related to paper 1
- Time management
- Practising reading more other texts to get to use to reading pace in exam – you spent too much time re-reading the text last time
- Staying focused on the main theme – Criterion C → Organise thesis in order of priority.
- Unpacking visual and lexical elements
Diction – the choice and use of words and phrases in speech or writing.
How might you provide a clear thesis statement connected to themes, a clearly related topic sentence, and a building of ideas?
- one of the key point missing in my essay was establishment of one main thematic idea where my all thesis strands point out to. Also providing a concluding statement that links to my theme/idea while also making sure that it connects to my next idea in the next paragraph.
How might you avoid simple description/summary?
- Use and stick to Point, Evidence, Analysis to avoid description.
- Do not provide statement without providing any evidence and evaluation.
How might you avoid making historical or cultural comments and assumptions? – reference to a main theme/idea?
- By providing more evidence and evaluating the points by focusing on the main thematic idea.
- Backup assumptions with evidence to unpack and make statement stronger.
- Unpacking evidence and analysing rather than making assumptions with weak points.
I will be mainly using the feedback I got from my teacher for the first draft to improve my final essay. Applying all the discussions and changes that I needed to make for thesis strands and thematic ideas will be put into the final essay for better written work.
Main things I need to work on:
- work on introduction properly. – follow the feedback
- use of literary technique?
- how can you stay organised with the structure?
- point out specific thesis strands in the beginning of the paragraph
- backup all thesis strands using PEA
- avoid making assumptions and historical comments – not too much
- need a concluding statement after every paragraph that connects to the idea/theme and also connecting to the idea that you are going to talk about in the next paragraph.
- need an overall one “Theme” that your essay is focusing on.
- need to show how “so what” – how does this portrayal of women connect to a theme? without this, becomes description/summary