HL Essay Reflection #3

How might you provide a clear thesis statement connected to themes, a clearly related topic sentence, and a building of ideas? 

  • one of the key point missing in my essay was establishment of one main thematic idea where my all thesis strands point out to. Also providing a concluding statement that links to my theme/idea while also making sure that it connects to my next idea in the next paragraph.


How might you avoid simple description/summary?

  • Use and stick to Point, Evidence, Analysis to avoid description.
  • Do not provide statement without providing any evidence and evaluation.


How might you avoid making historical or cultural comments and assumptions? – reference to a main theme/idea?

  • By providing more evidence and evaluating the points by focusing on the main thematic idea.
  • Backup assumptions with evidence to unpack and make statement stronger.
  • Unpacking evidence and analysing rather than making assumptions with weak points.


I will be mainly using the feedback I got from my teacher for the first draft to improve my final essay. Applying all the discussions and changes that I needed to make for thesis strands and thematic ideas will be put into the final essay for better written work.



Main things I need to work on:

  1. work on introduction properly. – follow the feedback
  2. use of literary technique?
  3. how can you stay organised with the structure?
  4. point out specific thesis strands in the beginning of the paragraph
  5. backup all thesis strands using PEA
  6. avoid making assumptions and historical comments – not too much
  7. need a concluding statement after every paragraph that connects to the idea/theme and also connecting to the idea that  you are going to talk about in the next paragraph.
  8. need an overall one “Theme” that your essay is focusing on.
  9. need to show how “so what” – how does this portrayal of women connect to a theme? without this, becomes description/summary

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