Near the beginning of the school year, I had my first meeting with the new PCF storytelling service group members. The first few sessions were focused on getting to know the group, and understanding the goals and purpose of the service. I felt that these first few sessions were very valuable, since it is where the members can understand what is expected of them, and also build interest and passion in them. Although I did the same service in grade 10, through this revisit of the basis of the service, I was able to build upon my interest and knowledge towards the service. For example, this time around I was able to understand what our service partner did to aid the students in much further detail, as well as learn a lot about the huge income gap that a lack of education can cause, especially in today’s age, where education is so important for a student’s future.

Furthermore, these sessions allowed me to collaborate and come into contact with all kinds of students. My prior knowledge of the service also allowed me to help in facilitating group conversations, and help my group members to ask me questions about the actual process itself. This was not only a chance for me to take leadership and help others, but it was also a great opportunity for me to further deepen my own knowledge on the service and the issue.

My interest in the service has also prompted me to run for chair, and I have been planning on signing up since last year since I had enjoyed the service a lot and found a lot of value in it. Therefore, even before the service, I made sure to go to the service office to see how the signing up process works, and through this, I also wanted to show my commitment and care towards the service. The results are not out yet, but I look forward greatly to seeing how things turn out. However, even if I do not get a leadership position, I believe that I can still help in encouraging and supporting other group members to make sure that we all have a meaningful and fun service experience.

About two weeks ago, there was some goal setting that we needed to do as a service group. This was my first session as a chair, and having not had as much leadership experience in an environment like this, I thought I would find it extremely nerve-racking and scary to facilitate the conversation in front of the classroom. However, once I got into the flow of the conversation, I found it relatively easy to discuss some goals with the group members, as well as bring my own ideas to the table. My focus for this conversation was also to make sure that the service members knew what the service was actually about, and show them how our sessions will have a direct and indirect impact on the issue of the gap between different socioeconomic groups in Singapore. I feel that this was a very important talk to have before having the sessions, as it allowed me to explore deeper into what the issue was actually about, as well as make sure that we are all aware of the cause we are aiding so that the members are more passionate and enthusiastic about the service.

After goal setting, our service had the first reading session with the kids at PCF 858. Before the session, my team and I had to do a lot of preplanning and preparation and faced quite a few challenges we needed to work through.

Firstly, separating teams was harder than expected, as we needed to take into account the students that need to leave for mock exams, as well as think about having a good balance of experience in each group. I was also particularly worried about having teams that the members would not be happy with. However, despite having mixed everyone up, I was very pleased to see that everyone was working quite well with each other, coming up with ideas for activities for the books, and thinking of ways to tell the story engagingly. I also really enjoyed being able to pitch ideas to groups to help in their brainstorming.

Moreover, to give the groups books to work with, the team needed to get books based on PCF’s curriculum. However, due to Covid restrictions, the primary school was not open to high school students, which stopped us from being able to go there and grab a few books for the group to use for the next few weeks. In order to overcome this challenge for future sessions, we agreed to try to set up a system with the library, where we will schedule a time to go every 3 weeks or so to borrow a few books, probably while the groups are presenting so that we don’t clash with the primary school students. All of this planning had to happen outside of service time with my leadership team, therefore I think this really helped me in initiating teamwork, as I was able to pitch ideas for us to think about as well as remind the team on messages that should be sent out or resources that should be prepared. Furthermore, I was very happy with how organised our leadership team was, we made a folder of all our resources, as well as a group chat on the day our team was formed, which helped us build rapport straight away and get working efficiently.

However, the first session went by quite successfully in my opinion. There was a lot of enthusiasm from the group that was presenting as well as from the kids at PCF. The session was also not too long but not too short, and the kids seemed to enjoy the activity that they had planned. From observation though, there were certain things about the session that we all decided we could improve on as a service. For example, having multiple devices in the call so that the group presenting can easily see both of the classes that they were presenting to, or getting a better mic for better audio quality. Something I really enjoyed about the session was that all of the people in the service were very collaborative and eventually came up with unique ideas for their sessions by the end of the first session. One thing I was able to observe about myself through this process was that I knew quite a lot already about what would be appropriate and realistic for each session, which I think helped a few of the groups to have an easier time planning. I was also very happy to see that the group that presented had a lot to say about possible improvements to make for the next session, which showed their commitment to the service. I am very excited to implement some of the ideas that came up to make an efficient system for each week, as well as hear from the service partners for possible feedback about the session itself.

Since the last session, we held another three meetings, which all went quite successfully. After each session, we met up as a group to discuss what went well and identified a challenge and how to improve the sessions. This lead to the implementation of having two devices for calling instead of one, as it helped the group members to actually see how the students were interacting with them and see their engagement.

Something I noticed in these sessions was that, after having a session, the service members all seemed to show a lot more perseverance and engagement to the global issue (LO 6) when planning and carrying out their session. At first, I was worried that the members would feel bored when they are planning the sessions, or that they would not quite understand the main goal of being part of the service. However, it was nice to see that more members were thinking about how to bring the students a fulfilling experience, constantly asking questions about what materials are available. Even for the groups that were more set on finishing faster to have more free time, with a bit of discussion and asking questions, they were able to see areas where they can consolidate their planning process, and they easily got back on track. Talking to every group like this also helped me to build a deeper understanding of the factors that we need to take into account when planning our thirty minute sessions, as well as some of the ethical consideration that needs to take place when making decisions (LO 7). For example, the service partners advised us to be careful with discussing sensitive topics, and niche cultural concepts. Another thing to consider was how the students at PCF would interact during their activities, for example, we were told that each student had different levels of ability in writing English, so we had to stay away from doing writing activities that might make students who have a hard time writing to feel alienated.

One more thing that I have noticed is that everyone in the service has grown to show more perseverance and commitment to the service (LO 4). When having sessions with the service partners, we were able to directly see the students’ engagement and understanding through the call, which helped us to directly see the impact of our actions. This encouraged a lot of us to bring more ideas to the table, and consider more limitations and advantages of certain activities over others, helping us to be a better collaborators in general. However, some students did not show up to the service because of the grade 10 mocks, which created all kinds of obstacles. For example, we had to think about how to properly split up the work, whilst also giving the person who did not show up a part to play in their upcoming session. These members would have also missed out on a lot of important learning. However, I felt that it was comforting because all the students that were able to show up showed a lot of understanding and commitment, constantly keeping people up to date by contacting each other even outside of the session or through me.

Overall, I am excited to see how the groups will work together when the Grade 10s are back from their mocks and to see further growth in my personal understanding of the issue as well as in my skills as a chair in the service.

Firstly, the first few sessions of this year required me to plan, prepare and present slideshows to a mostly new group of students. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I will engage these new members, and also encourage them to learn more about income disparity in Singapore. One of the biggest worries I had was about leading sessions that are not interesting, or that I would not be able to deliver my enthusiasm considering that I often see myself as a more reserved person.

However, during these sessions I found that I did not have to doubt myself. Simply by going through the outline, keeping calm and discussing ideas with my members as a group as well as individually and building rapport, I quickly became more comfortable. I also realised that I knew a lot about my service, VWO and issue as I answered questions from newer members, and with this I realised I developed a passion towards the cause

Overall, I am really happy I took on this role as I feel that I have seen a lot of growth within myself, and I feel great knowing other members will, or already have, felt this way too.

During Culturama, my role as a dancer was to collaborate with other dancers and the leaders, as well as support them, considering that there were many challenges faced during this year’s Culturama due to the strict Covid-19 regulations that we had to work with. Moreover, we had generally less time in comparison to other years, meaning that we had to compromise a lot of our free time as well to work on our dance together.

In hopes to speed up the process, all the dancers, especially the leaders, spent a lot of time practicing and devising plans to work around the regulations. For example, we had to do a lot of last-minute formation changes to make sure that we are a meter apart. Near the filming day as well, I helped in making the costumes since the leaders were extremely busy, and the costumes were having issues being shipped again due to the covid regulations, in addition to the relatively small budget we had to stick with.

Though these challenges were very difficult to overcome, I feel that I learned a lot of very valuable lessons from this experience. Firstly, considering that Culturama is a dance showcase, I was able to improve as a dancer, not only in my ability to dance but also in the speed at which I can learn dances and adapt to the dancing style of the group. Furthermore, I was able to develop my ability to support others and encourage students during the turbulent but fun process, hence making many friends with students that I otherwise would have never met in school. By the end of the last show, all the dancers were quite close with each other, and there was a strong sense of community in our group, despite the relatively shorter time we had spent together. It seems that we were able to bond much easier by going through hardships together.

In addition to developing skills and undertaking challenges, I feel that my collaborative skills were able to grow and that I successfully showed commitment in the process.

From this difficult but fun experience, I feel that my adaptability and ability to act quickly to change shined the most. I believe that such qualities and skills will aid me a lot in the future, considering that most projects and processes that have been individually prepared and carried out tend to be undulant and challenging like this. These skills will also be great for times where I will need to take responsibility, or take on a leadership role, since adapting to changes and devising a plan around that change is a big part of leadership. This is especially good for me, considering that I am very interested in taking on a leadership role in the future.

After not having done a live performance after several years, I felt that this dance show was a really rewarding and fun experience.

Firstly, this was my first time trying a partner dance and it was also my first time trying out a new style of dance after having stuck with dance styles I am comfortable with. This allowed me to broaden my understanding of dance styles, and also develop skills as a dancer. For example, through the process of learning the partner dance, I realised that a lot of awareness of my partner and myself was quite crucial, and this helped to gain a better understanding of spatial awareness and also the importance of staying in touch with all parts of my body during the dance. Not only did this awareness help me have sharper moves and precise movements, it also had a grounding effect during the real performance, where I was feeling quite nervous and overwhelmed after not having performed live in so long. Moreover, this opportunity really reminded me of the benefits of working collaboratively, considering that I had to work with a partner. Although we do a lot of partner work in class too, I felt that this process forced my partner and I to learn about each other, and learn to be flexible in adapting to each other’s way of dance and skillset, which made it all the more rewarding to see the end product after going through the process of improving and learning together. I felt that this helped me to grow as a collaborator, but also understand my dance partner too!

Next, this was also my first time trying an afro dance style. Although at first, I was very unsure whether this dance style would work well with me, I realised that it is extremely fun, and it felt a lot freer in comparison to other dance styles where precision is the main priority. This dance style showed me how to create energy and pushed me to make much larger movements to make my presence on the stage bigger, which was a very important lesson for me as a dancer. I was also able to have a newfound appreciation for this dance style, and its cultural significance in Africa.

Overall, this performance helped me reconnect with the performer within me, and I was able to appreciate once again the rewards and importance of constant self improvement and growth.

As of now, I have already had a few sessions of netball pre-season. I wanted to write about some of the challenges that were undertaken, and the strengths that I developed from these sessions.

Firstly, the biggest challenge for me was making sure that I am physically ready to have training. In the first session, I felt that I pushed myself too far, causing me to hurt my leg in the process (LO 2). This was because I wanted to show my commitment to the activity, and get the most out of the session, however, I think that no harm comes out of taking the first few sessions a bit more easily to help myself ease in throughout the season. Although it was not a good experience to hurt my leg in the first session, it also helped me to feel safe in the environment, as many of the other students as well as the coach were constantly helping me and checking up on me. This made my next few sessions easier for me to feel comfortable talking to a variety of people, and also understand my capabilities as an athlete and how to push myself safely. Moreover, on these days, I always make sure to rest well before the session so that I have enough energy to show engagement and perseverance in the session (LO 4), whilst being someone who can encourage others to keep going.

Another challenge I faced was time management. Considering that these sessions are held quite late in the day, I often found myself feeling really lazy and unmotivated to go. In the first few sessions, this was also due to the anxiety of wanting to present myself as capable and also due to the fact that I did not know as many people in the activity. However, throughout this process, I was able to easily make friends as I was in an environment where I had to collaborate with all kinds of people, which helped me build confidence to take risks during the sessions and think more about my personal development than thinking of the activity as an added source of stress.

Furthermore, in the last few sessions, I was able to refresh some of the skills that I already had in netball, like shooting, footwork, defense, etc. (LO 1)This helped me to connect myself again to my body, after having done minimal exercise due to the increased workload in IB, after each session, I felt relieved of stress and fresh, reminding me of the importance of taking care of my body whilst keeping up with my responsibilities as a student.  This new outlook on the activity helped me to change it from being a source of worry and anxiety where I feel the constant need to impress others, to a safe environment for me to learn about playing netball and take care of myself.

A few days ago, I had my first jazz band rehearsal with the new band. Due to the covid restrictions, I instantly noticed a huge difference in the size of the band, with only 9 students playing, and I was the only flutist in the band. Generally, in a band setting, flutists need to play very high parts to be heard in the crowd of brass instruments, considering flutes are very soft instruments that are hard to have sound control on. Hence, I found it hard to make sure that I am heard, and that my part is being played well from the first run-through.

However, when I felt it wasn’t enough, I chose to take on an improvisational solo. This was a big step for me as a performer and as an individual. Though this was not my first time doing an improvisational solo, I felt that it took a lot of courage for me to be able to do so in the first session, since I believe that first impressions can be very important. However, luckily for me, I already knew a lot of the band members, so I feel that it was much easier to ease into the process. Moreover, the band members were all very supportive and encouraging, which made the atmosphere a lot more light-hearted and fun and also prompted me to support and encourage the other band members too, aiding me in my collaboration skills. I believe that this act could work as a way for me to show my commitment to the activity.

However, this is only the first session and there are a lot of skills for me to develop and build upon. For example, I want to be able to show some leadership in this band, whether it be through volunteering as a section leader (if the band is large enough to have section leaders), or simply in making sure that a comfortable and close atmosphere is maintained.

After over 2 years, the Jazz Band and I were able to perform for a live audience in school!

The concert was called Wavelengths, and although I have performed in Wavelengths in many of the years, this year it just felt a little more special considering it has been so long since we had a live performance. Through this performance, the biggest takeaway for me was my strengths and areas of development as a musician, and I also made observations about myself as an individual.

Firstly, I was quite satisfied with my solo despite feeling underprepared. I was also quite stressed about the concert as I felt like I was not in my best headspace. During the show, I felt critical of my playing, realising that I have a lot of work to do on my tone and stability in times of being under pressure and not in a comfortable environment like my home or my classroom. However, I realised that this was not really an issue of technique but more of controlling my nerves. Personally, I think that no one is ever able to find performance comfortable, in fact if it does feel comfortable, something is not right. So it isn’t about learning to not feel that nervousness anymore, but rather learn to embrace it and see it as something normal that is also what helps me to perform fine under pressure.

This connects not only to just me as a musician but also as an individual. I will have to present ideas and eventually take exams with high stakes, and I find myself constantly anxious because of this, constantly thinking about what to do next and where to go next, and the areas I am unhappy or unsatisfied with. Especially during the GCSE exams and in the beginning of this year, I could see myself struggling to let go of these nerves and sometimes let it overcome me. And yet, just like this performance, I found that the anxiousness only really comes from a desire to do well and push myself, and I think learning to embrace such feelings instead of letting them overcome me whilst I push it away will really help me succeed further on.

Moreover, I realised that my love for performance is much stronger than my fear of it. Despite feeling no more blood circulation in my arms anymore and having shaky legs, I also felt really content whilst I was performing. Even more than the performance itself, I felt so much connection with my band members as we joked around whilst waiting for our turn and felt nervous together. I really missed that feeling, and I realised that I have to continue performing in one way or another, because I enjoy it enough to overcome my anxiety for it. This was something I had started to realise even before the performance. During the summer holiday, I found myself really missing performing for people and showing them my music, so I took the initiative to sing in large servers on a social media platform called “Discord”. Through this, I was able to sing for students outside of our school like UWC Dover, and even sing songs that they request and want to hear from me. This helped me make new friends, and I gained a lot of confidence in my abilities alongside doing a lot of practice since I was singing and practicing for hours at a time. I started to feel really appreciative for these friends that always came to listen and support, and they seem to have rekindled my confidence in my own abilities and my love for performance, which is what I also felt from performing in Wavelengths.

This feeling of accomplishment I had felt after my performance in Wavelengths has helped me reconnect with myself and tell myself that as long as I have the will to do well, I will always do well in my own means.