There are many ways in which how I act may inform how a person may perceive themselves. This may be through explicit messages such as me saying that they are good at this or bad at this, or implicit, in my body language with them, or how high I prioritize them. I know this as I see it from other people. When they never sit next to me unless all other seats are filled in a class may just mean that I’m not their best friend, but it may be wrongly interpreted as purposeful bullying. Also, if people keep interrupting you, it may feel like your opinions are rubbish or unwanted. This was part of the reason why I felt very sad and lonely throughout middle school. But to this day, I find it hard to deal with this, as I don’t know whether it was purposeful or not, so I feel guilty for being sad because of it. And also, I started to internalize this interpretation of their actions, feeling I need to change myself (i.e. make myself more masculine, less geeky) to fit in. I prioritize myself more now though.
I must admit that I may even subconsciously do this. Because of my own preference to try to be among guys, that often means I move away when a group of girls surround me. I am defending my own masculinity by moving away, but the group may interpret it as me disliking them, which isn’t really the case. But I realise now that this may stem from my own negative feelings that came from situations such as the above. Essentially, because guys would isolate me (purposefully or not), I would hurt the feelings of girls, perhaps creating a dangerous cycle of hurt feelings.
In summary, I believe that our actions can create feelings of sadness, low self-esteem, and isolation in others, thus starting off a cycle of loneliness and hurt feelings to try to recover.