1. Self Reflection- What were some of the most interesting discoveries you made about yourself through the Myers Briggs and Holland Code tests? How has your planning for the future changed or stayed the same during this unit?
I found that my Myers Briggs personality type (INFP) suggests that I do something creative, artsy or less stressful, which conflicts my already existing career ambitions (Something in academia in History, or perhaps Law). However, my career ambitions didn’t change despite this, because I still possess a deep interest, curiosity and love for History and I want to do something in life that will constantly challenge me.
2. Self Advocacy- Professional relationships. Name two or three important skills you learned about maintaining positive professional relationships and how will you use them in the future.
I learned about the following imporant skills involved with maintaining professional relationships: addressing others with respect and consideration (treating them the way you would like to be treated), being polite and making sure to notify people in advance, and not being afraid to talk to someone older than you or in a position of power about asking for help or advice. I will use these skills especially in the work environment or in university, and definitely when talking with my EE supervisor.
3. Informed decisions- Thinking about your future 5, 10, or 15 years from now, what are some themes/aspects of life that you want to keep central to your planning? What are some key values that will drive your decision making?
I would like to make sure I feel fulfilled in the work I’m doing, and that I am in a place that simultaneously challenges me but also allows me to relax somewhere I’m comfortable. I would like to be in a place where I can satiate my curiosity for the world, engage with global issues, and feel safe no matter my race, gender, sexuality or identity.
The first thought I had when writing this, was how on earth am I ever going to top last year’s personal statement?
For a few years now, I’ve been trying to come up with new and original concepts for doing my personal statement. In Grade 8, for example, I wrote a dystopian fictional short story looking back on all the events of the year (with the nostalgia that a 13-year-old should definitely not have any clue about). In Grade 9, I likened the many books I’d read over the years to events in my life, making awful attempts at dry humour (which was almost definitely me trying to cover up all of my gaping insecurities). It was probably one of the most ‘me’ things I’ve ever written.
And this year, the pressure was on to find something new and different to do. But to be honest, if last year’s personal statement was the truest to me my writing’s ever been, then why would I have to change that?
Why on earth do I feel this overwhelming pressure to try and top myself?
To be honest, I don’t think that any of the other ideas that I came up with would be as fitting as last year’s concept. And there’s something sweet about concept consistency, it allows the idea to mature and evolve over time, organically, just like the storyline and rising tension of Kokoro, by Natsume Soseki. It feels like you’re waiting, constantly, for something to happen, not realising that there’s something growing, and growing, and growing – and I feel that’s perfectly fitting when describing my year.
I’ve actually had one aspiration for over a year now! (I know, I can’t really believe it myself.) My aspirations have been growing (I really hope they continue to do so, while I sit there blissfully unaware). I still want to teach, preferably in university, and I want to be in the humanities field. As Grade-9 me so eloquently put it, ‘After all, with the amount of time I spend on ‘intellectual’ pursuits, being in a learning institution is a place I think I’ll be quite happy for a long period of time.”
And speaking of intellectual pursuits…
This year, I am very proud to announce that I was shortlisted for the 2020 Immerse Essay Competition (in Philosophy), therefore winning a partial scholarship to Cambridge University Summer School. Although the pandemic threw a spanner in the works (meaning I’m going to be attending the course next year), winning a scholarship gave me the self-esteem boost that I’ve needed for years. (Here’s the essay if you’d like to read it.)
Even though I know that I’ll be wrestling with my self-esteem for a very long time, hopefully I’ll emerge victorious from the seas like the Old Man from Hemingway’s famous novel (that I finally read). Future me, please look upon past me with kindness, and empathy, because past me looks at you with all the love and hope she possesses.
This year, I’ve also managed to win my National Youth Achievement Award (in Silver) as well as become Co-Chair of Ladakh GC, the current oldest GC at the school. However, I feel that these achievements are only meaningful because of the experiences they brought. Doing the Achievement Awards exposed me to the convalescents at Hougang Care Centre in Singapore, and in particular, the most sincere ‘Thank you’ I’ve ever experienced.
This ‘thank you’ was spoken to me only in my first few weeks of doing the service, and it was said while looking directly into my eyes. They took my hand, and spoke quietly, hushed, with such deep gratitude that I could even see it in the blackness of their pupils. I was speechless for a few moments. I had been so wrapped up in making sure that the activity was done well, and that they were engaged, barely acknowledging my own work and constantly doubting myself – but all that crumbled in a single moment at the sound of two words – ‘thank you’. I don’t even know if I can describe how much that moved me. They went out of their way to shake my hand and thank me, because I created a change. A change in the monotony, a change in what is ‘normal’. I tampered with Arundhati Roy’s Love Laws, just for a moment, and they thanked me for it.
And it is experiences like these that truly made my year. I was in Write for Rights again this year, and managed to fulfill my goal of 80 letters in 24 hours (I in fact wrote 85). This week of tiredness and a sore wrist gave someone, somewhere, a chance at a home, and it was so worth it. We even received a reply this year (even though it was slightly condescending), and that truly filled me with a sense of achievement.
This year, I’ve also gained a new interest, and a new area of expertise: Web Design! I’ve designed many websites now, and created countless resources for service groups at school to develop their portfolio websites. My own website (on which you’re probably reading this) is one of my crowning achievements, and is hand-made from scratch. I’ve also designed the HS Service Exec Site (the information database and all it’s pages specifically), as well as the Ladakh GC portfolio and the Fitness with Hougang Care Centre site.
And now, I finally move on to the most awaited part of my personal statement – and the ‘Most Impactful Book of the 2019-2020 School Year’ goes to…
(It’s absolutely no fun if you don’t drumroll)
‘Beloved’, by Toni Morrison.
Surprisingly, this wasn’t that difficult of a choice, despite all the other books I’ve read this year (runners up: Artist of the Floating World by Kazuo Ishiguro and All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque). It’s extremely hard to summarise how ‘Beloved’ made me feel, but almost throughout the entire thing I felt like my heart was being ripped from it’s veins, shredding into strips of bloodied flesh, and then stitched back together and shoved right back into my hands below the gaping, black hole in my chest. Once you started reading, the words seemed to suck you in and rearrange themselves into what Morrison was truly trying to say, grammar rules be damned. The strange rhythm of the words is lilting, lyrically and empathetically capturing the most grotesque and cruel part of our nature yet still maintaining to present the beauty of the resilience of the human spirit, and the hope and endurance we hold despite the pain and abuse inflicted by years of history.
And someday, in the future, maybe when I’m a professor in a university somewhere, I hope to read Beloved again, and have my heart taken away from me again.
That’s all from me this year. Thank you for reading.
23rd September 2018 GLOBAL PERSPECTIVES CLASS What shapes my identity?
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Transcript: It is known that what shapes our identity are the things around us, our upbringing, what we are exposed to as a child, and nature. Each of these things have a large impact on who we are as a person.
Our parents have values and identities too, and these things affect their parenting methods. For instance, if a parent has a perspective that free-will is possible, then they may encourage their children to acknowledge their desires and make decisions. My parents are very motivated people. They like to push themselves to greater heights, perspectively individualistic, and this has passed onto me. I have high standards for my work and I always want to present my best efforts. My parents are also very accepting people, and they treat me and my brother as individuals, capable of making our own decisions and having our own responsibilities. This has encouraged me and my brother to explore our own identities, regardless of what society thinks. My brother can explore his more feminine traits, and I would say that today he is a very gentle and affectionate person, as well as fun-loving and playful. This personality is only supported in my household, as my parents have a very collectivist perception of the idea of family. We all support each other.
My family has been to many different countries, all of which have different cultures that have influenced my brother and I. Living in Britain, an individualist society, has also contributed to making me more individualistic as a person. I always set personal goals and look for ways in which I can benefit from situations. But I haven’t lived in Britain my entire life, currently I’m in Singapore, and when I was younger I also spent two years in Hong Kong. I feel that Britain is my home(?), despite the fact that I feel integrated into Asian culture here, which makes me and my brother third-culture-kids. Living in so many places has taught me about different cultures and has shaped my perspective of the world, and has made me more adaptable to change. It has given me an uncertainty about my identity, since lots of different cultures have influenced my beliefs – Singapore has taught me about respect for the elderly, and helping those who are less fortunate through service, whereas London has taught me to always stay true to myself and persevere.
However, these countries have very different perspectives when it comes to gender. In London, private schools are segregated by sex, and the two sexes are rarely mixed. This means that I had very little perspective on the male gender until I came to Singapore and an international school. These two schools also have very different ideas on what it meant to be a girl. In the London private school, in the subject called ‘Design and Technology’, we learned to sew, to become the feminine stereotype, but in ‘DT’ here at UWC, I’m allowed to work with machines and saws and sandpaper, a whole new experience for me at the time. This changed my perception of gender, I no longer felt like I had to fit the stereotype. My gender naturally influences my identity, as it was determined biologically by genetics and also because I’ve felt like a girl my whole life – this was only enhanced by my school in London, with the ideas that girls shouldn’t play rugby, or be very good at maths.
But my school in London was harshly catholic, and very homophobic. My bisexuality confused me, even when I came to Singapore, though UWC is more accepting than British society. However, I feel like my bisexuality is an innate part of me, just a fact about me and my hormones. I feel like I can’t change this aspect of my identity, I’m deterministic about it. It’s just a part of me, like my gender, however this could be determined solely by nature and not as much by nurture. (There are still a lot of studies about this, though.)
So, all these things and more have shaped me into who I am, and I know that I will continue to discover more about myself in the future. Thank you.
