When I was first asked in one of our GPers lessons, “what defines you”, I was stunned as I my first impressions of the thought were blank. I didn’t know what defines me, shouldn’t I know it immediately as I am the captain of the vessel that is my mind. For sometime my mind lay blank other than some writing connecting to what we did in class. But as I picked a quality that I value or that defines me, I started to consider why am I like this and that opened my eyes into what makes me me.

I like my comfort zone, where I am protected, and I resent leaving it. This affects me all the time, in conversations I feel it is a risk saying something that will get me embarrassed hence making me awkward. This also occurs in class if I know an answer to the question, I keep it to myself as I get frightened to get it wrong. I believe I am this way due my parents, I was always in my comfort zone, doing things I knew how to do. My parents always listened to me when I said ‘no’ and at the time I appreciated that, though now I am thinking otherwise. The image on the which is the finger with a “chakra” revolving around it. This is the finger of Vishnu the god of protection, the symbol of the sudarshan chakra symbolises Vishnu. I chose this image as I value being safe and protected in the place you are.

I value the respect over most else. If you show respect to others you will receive it back. From a young age I was taught by my mother that even if someone believes something different to you, people are entitled to their own views. I feel like what has made me feel this way is UWCSEA. Each teacher always says respect one another, and all the children roll their eyes as they say that, though it is true. Also as I mentioned before my mother taught me that respect is an utmost importance value as I was growing up. In my mandala this is shown by the elderly person and the person bowing before him. In India you touch an elders feet to show respect. It symbolises you are giving up your ego (by touching their feet) and expressing humility in front of an elder to seek their blessing.

I am a lazy person, I often try to commit to new things and give up easily as it requires too much work. In school at numerous occasions I don’t reach for that higher grade and tell myself it is because I believe that I can’t get there when I know it is because I am to lazy. Oddly, I feel that I am this way because I believe that I cannot do better, that eventually my GPers mandala grade won’t matter. I think I am lazy due to my childhood, as a child I was seldom told to hurry up or work with urgency, my parents gave me a lot of independence growing up causing me to procrastinate and do things at my own time. The image I chose to portray this aspect of myself is the sloth. The greek goddess of laziness is also known as the goddess of sloth, as they are lazy by nature, an example of that is how they sleep for 15-20 hours a day.

Now moving on the my shadow side, the Laurel Wreath on the mandala symbolises the god of Victory which her core value was competition. I feel like this relates to me as I am extremely competitive but mask it well. In games that I am losing for example I get extremely upset unless it is my fault. If it isn’t and my team is to blame I get kind of mad but try to keep it to myself. I feel like this again comes back to me as being a single child. As I child I couldn’t get upset with anyone except myself if something went wrong, I never had the experience of blaming someone else. This is why I believe that I am so competitive and cannot stand losing.

I value balance, I value balance in two different ways. I value karma, whatever you give will come back to you, this is symbolised in the mandala by the weighing scale which is the symbol for the goddess of balance, Nemesis. Nemesis balances the world. She is the goddess of revenge, she bring revenge on who deserve. I believe revenge isn’t a bad thing and is necessary as it is the only way the scale will be balanced. I also value balance is a way of fairness, balance among equals. I believe I have been influenced to be this way by my peers among younger grades. I distinctly remember hating cheaters, people who put there need to win ahead of everyone else’s by breaking rules. Also UWCSEA in the aspect of fairness as now as a high schooler I can see how disrespectful it is to fair.

I enjoy being alone, having my solitude. An example of this is sports, I love playing sports and I play football most of all, though I have the most fun when I play football alone. In single sports like chess or golf, I think I prefer because I can depend on myself, it is my zone/solitude and I don’t have to share. Another example is the fact that I often don’t partake in social events because I would rather be alone. I think I have been influenced to be that way by my family, I am an only child hence have never had the opportunity to discuss things with 24/7. Because of that I think I have become accustomed to remoteness and like it there. This image on the mandala shows someone mediating, when you meditate you are one with yourself, you can simply focus on your breathing and yourself.

To sum things up, this task has enlightened me into why do I believe in certain things, why I make each simple decision of my life. Also I feel like it has given me an insight into how I am perceived to others, and what can they see and not see about me. To add to that it has given me the opportunity to correct, as I have noticed flaws within myself that I should work on to make me better, even if I value something sometimes I forget to follow it.

 

Bibliography

 

• Bradford, Alina. “Sloth Facts: Habits, Habitat & Diet.” LiveScience, Purch, 21 May 2014, www.livescience.com/27612-sloths.html.

 

• “NEMESIS.” NEMESIS – Greek Goddess of Retribution & Indignation,

 

• “Religions – Hinduism: Vishnu.” BBC, BBC, 24 Aug. 2009,

 

• “Vishnu.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 8 Oct. 2017,

 

• “Sloth.” Kids’ Games, Animals, Photos, Stories, and More, 1 Mar. 2014,

 

• “Sloth.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 10 Oct. 2017,

 

• “Mediation.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 4 Oct. 2017,

 

• “Nike • Facts and Information on the Goddess Nike.” Greek Gods & Goddesses,