Consent Lesson: What were you main takeaways from the consent lesson? (the BBC video with the boy and girl at the party)
I’ve had many consent lessons going to this school, in middle school and IGCSE, but it feels far more ‘real’ to me now that I’m nearing an age where this could actually happen around me, either here or at university. I think my main takeaways from the consent lesson is that often situations can be confusing, complicated, or with drastically different perspectives. These incidents also often rely on memory, memory that can be misjudged because of intoxication or otherwise. Perhaps there was never an outright ‘no,’ perhaps there was alcohol consumed by both sides. But fundamentally, despite all the side factors and the complexity of memory, it still does not change the fact that active, willing consent in a state where one is capable of doing so is necessary in sexual encounters.
Boundaries. Considering the lesson on boundaries; what are some factors that influence a person’s perception of ‘acceptable’ behaviour?
A person’s perception of ‘acceptable’ behaviour likely stems up from the culture and environment that they grew up in. Certain cultures are far more open to physical contact, for instance, even between people do not know each other very well, but other cultures are not. It can even be reduced to the fact that everyone around you growing up had no problem with certain actions at certain times. Other times, it may simply be a personal preference and what makes you comfortable. Having little or many boundaries are fine, I think, it just depends on the person. But it is absolutely crucial that we remain aware that others may not share the same boundaries as us in order to cultivate a safe environment for all.
Bystanders- In the ‘night out’ video with Emily; we saw a number of bystanders who did NOT intervene to help her? What factors (real or perceived) do you think prevented them from stepping in?
I think that in many cases, the bystanders did not intervene because either they believed that someone else would be looking out for Emily, or because we have a tendency to be blindly optimistic about certain situations. It is far easier to believe that nothing is wrong or nothing is going to happen if it means saving yourself the time and effort—and potential embarrassment, even—by not intervening and shrugging it off. A perceived barrier for bystanders is that they might’ve interpreted the scene wrong and by ‘overreacting,’ they are setting themselves up from awkward situations. To address this, I think a wider consensus and awareness on looking out for others—even when they are strangers—is necessary. In terms of real barriers, I think a threat of escalation into violence is fairly significant, especially for the roommate in the video. To be in the same house with a drunk flatmate who you need to look out for, and a drunk stranger who can most probably overpower you, and to have the courage to speak out is quite difficult. Reaching out to law enforcement if necessary can be a tactic to keep yourself safe, or knowing strategies to intervene in ways that deescalate the situation is very important.
