This is a reflection from our first PSE unit on Emotional Intelligence, what it is and its importance.
I actually have multiple goals that I would like to set as after reflecting, I realized that I still have a lot to improve on. A lot of the goals are based on someone I admire for their high EQ, while some are from some things that I became aware of myself. I feel that the goals are all related to each other so I’ll try my best to articulate my thoughts.
So this year, I would like to learn how to let go, say “no” and stop negative self-talk. It sounds like its a lot of different things but to me, they all came from one source: guilt. During this reflection, I realized that I tend to do things out of guilt, not the guilt when someone does something wrong, but the avoidance of guilt. While the wanting of not feeling guilty becomes a motivation for me and helps initiate me to take action, however, I do not want to live a life of guilt. I don’t want to live a life with the feeling of something weighing (physically) on my chest.
I also find that I can be a little aggressive as well as demanding of others as I sometimes can’t understand or empathise their actions/abilities, like when people just want to spend time watching tv shows instead of listening in the class. Another reason is that I also tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to do well, which in turns makes me feel very guilty or useless about myself and my actions.
To tell the truth, I don’t really know how to overcomes this, but maybe a solution or a way is by perhaps telling myself that whatever I do is what I believe is the best of my abilities and is the right thing to do.
I think that if I can improve this, it will not only allow me to be more assertive but also boost up my self-esteem.
In August, we started discussing CAS and thinking about what we want to do.
Since the beginning, I had an idea of what I wanted to do as all the activities that I have been doing for the past few years can be completed as CAS. While that said, I also want to push myself out of my comfort zone as a way of cherishing my last two years in high school and making the full use of it.
Below are the screenshots of Stage 1 of CAS, where we investigate and think about what we want to do.
Creative – Memory Project
Why do I want to join:
The moment I heard about this activity in the assembly, it really touched my heart. The thought of being able to draw for a good cause really made me want to join the activity, especially since drawing is one of my hobbies. I haven’t drawn many portraits (the only one that I can think of being drawn 3 years ago when I was in Grade 8) so it will definitely be a great opportunity to brush up my skills for drawing. L01, L02, L06
Any goals:
To improve my drawing of the nose and ears
How will I achieve it:
Fully participate and make full use of the time during sessions!
Creative – Piano
Why do I want to join:
I find piano hard, even after playing piano since young. There is just always some inconsistency in my playing which changes the whole song, like a note played too harsh or an accidental clash note made. And it can really be demotivating when that happens. However, I still want to improve and learn new songs that aligns with my hobbies even after having my Grade 8 classical piano exam during November. L01, L04
Any goals:
To pass my Grade 8 practical piano exam… I tend to mess up a lot when I play in front of others.
Also, I want to clean my pedalling, it’s too murky…
How will I achieve it:
Practice every day! Even if it is just a run-through of the songs…
Service – 0WES:
Why do I want to join:
Well, I have been in the service for 2 years now, since Grade 9, and I really want to continue it. After all, it’s not really me if I don’t fully commit to something. I think that change should happen within the campus first before we can really expand out of it (like the hawker). If I can make a change by help decreasing the wastage produced during events, that will be sastifying enough. L03, L04, L05, L07
Any goals:
I’m aiming to be the chairman of the service because I want to push myself out of my comfort zone to improve my interpersonal skills. I also want to tackle something I noticed during the end of Grade 10, which is that the portfolio hasn’t really been updated and is not “professional” enough.
During my summer internship at Dentsu, I managed to read about the creative materials regarding posters, hero stories (90-sec vid with narration) and micro-stories (no narration and fast cut style). I believe that we should focus on promoting 0WES to not only those who use the crockeries but also to students to persuade them to join
I hope that it would look professional and clear. Perhaps there could be a team on this, where every 2 sessions they could update us on the progress
A document with notes I took about branding and some guidelines
I have also noticed that the 0WES portfolio doesn’t have a lot of reflection content and has not updated since December, thus neglecting some of 0WES biggest events like the Pasir Ris Fair and the Family Festival. What I would like to do for next year is to have discussions on we can consistently keep the portfolio updated as well as implement a dedicated team
How will I achieve it:
I would like to focus more on the image and portfolio of 0WES. So to do that, I would like to organise 3 team of students, one to create the video, one to update the portfolio consistently as well as make it user-friendly and the other to manage the crockery count after each event. (All hypothetically, if I became the chairman)
Service – Swimming with Hougang Care Center
Why do I want to join:
A couple of reasons why I decided to join this local service. First one would be that I want to push myself once again outside my comfort zone after “stabilising” myself with the activities I have been doing over the past years (badminton, piano, 0WES). The second reason is that I think that this is really a good opportunity to develop an understanding of this part of the community and once again open up my vision of the world. The third reason is that I want to expand my career options as much as possible and after a small talk with one of the service teachers (Nisha) on some universities’ requirement, I decided to take local service as some of them required them. The fourth is that I want to continue improving my teaching skills, especially since I was participating in Chinese Chat during Grade 9 and 10.
Any goals:
To be honest, I’m not much of a swimmer, and it’s kind of my first time interacting with people who have mental health issues, so my goal for this year is to be tenacious and interact positively with them.
How will I achieve it:
Remember that you are part of a movement and part of a change. Stepping out of the comfort zone is the first step to do so.
Activity – Badminton:
Why do I want to join:
They say badminton is an individual sport. In a sense, it is, however because you are on the court alone, facing all this pressure knowing that every move counts, that we need a team. You need grit to push yourself to continue to try even when you are tired and when you are behind the opponent. L01, L04, L05
Any goals:
To become the second singles of the team and have the team stay in SEASAC division 1
To improve my lobs so that I can lob from backhand to backhand.
To maintain the same culture as last year, which is a team that supports each other by cheering for each other during matches and gets along well
How will I achieve it:
To run every day if possible!
5km at speed of 10+km/hr in the gym or…
15 rounds of running at a constant pace around the pool (~6.5km)
Participate in the weekly family running activity (within my household) at Bedok Reservoir every Saturday morning (~4.3km)
After a run, at least do 3 sets of: 40 tricep weight lifting, 25 rowing, 20 sets of lifting above shoulder
I don’t really know how to maintain the culture but I will make sure to interact with each member of the team positively and cheer on every single match.
I have also created a spreadsheet to help me keep track of CAS
Previous mathematics experience: IGCSE add math, Middle School Math, Math back in Malaysia, What else should I say?
Some feelings I feel when I think of math: [Please don’t overthink it Xuan Ru!!!] or [Numbers] or [Geometry!] or [I no logs]
How do I feel about starting this course + Why: Excited because it’s gonna be more challenging (upon completing a question by myself -> satisfaction level: max) Nervous because I don’t want to “fail” in front of my smart classmates (more like embarrassing myself )
How do I like to learn math + Why: I prefer working things out for myself, though after someone explains the concept to me (you can’t just throw me straight into a jungle without learning any survival skills!) Why? (upon completing a question by myself -> satisfaction level: max)
What do I do when I’m “stuck” in math: Step 1 – I try the Q again. Step 2 – I move on to other questions which hopefully allows me to have a mini eureka moment. Step 3 – I’ll look back at my notes/the textbook to see how to do it. Step 4 – it’s time to ask some of my friends. Step 5 – I ask the teacher.
What’s my biggest strength in learning math: I think of myself as pretty organised, diligent and a self-disciplined person
What’s my biggest area of focus for math: Optimistic (Can we really finish such a big course in 1.5 years?!), Innovative/Original and a leader (maybe in another field, but not math)
Something I want to let my teachers know: Can’t think of anything yet…Let’s have a good year together!
These past two years of IGCSE has been the best 2 years of my life so far, with many learnings, friends and memories made.
As we look ahead to our upcoming two years in IB, it would be great to have some sort of ideas as well as goals to guide our way through the rigorous course. (rigorous because that’s the collective thoughts I have heard from my seniors)
Academic Goals:
Like any student, to do well and score as high as possible in my academics! Though I have not really decided what I want to study…
I really hope that I will be able to get along with my new classmates as I almost share none of my classes with my friends! I see a few people that I have the chance to get along (more like stick/cling to them! (n >.< n))
Service Goals – (0WES):
I am aiming to be the chairman of the service because I want to really start focusing on 0WES image.
During my summer internship at Dentsu, I managed to read about the creative materials regarding posters, hero stories (90-sec vid with narration) and micro-stories (no narration and fast cut style). I believe that we should focus on promoting 0WES to not only those who use the crockeries but also to students to persuade them to join
I hope that it would look professional and clear. Perhaps there could be a team on this, where every 2 sessions they could update us on the progress
A document with notes I took about branding and some guidelines
I have also noticed that the 0WES portfolio doesn’t have a lot of reflection content and has not updated since December, thus neglecting some of 0WES biggest events like the Pasir Ris Fair and the Family Festival. What I would like to do for next year is to have discussions on we can consistently keep the portfolio updated as well as implement a dedicated team
Activity Goals – (Badminton):
To improve my lobs so that I can lob from backhand to backhand by training my arms
I also plan to run every day (see Fitness goals) to build-up stamina and speed.
To play first singles! That means I have to work much harder than Vamakshi and potential single players!
To maintain the same culture as last year, which is a team that supports each other by cheering for each other during matches and gets along well
Activity Goals – (Fitness):
To run every day if possible!
5km at speed of 10+km/hr in the gym or…
15 rounds of running at a constant pace around the pool (~6.5km)
Participate in the weekly family running activity (within my household) at Bedok Reservoir every Saturday morning (~4.3km)
After a run, at least do 3 sets of: 40 tricep weight lifting, 25 rowing, 20 sets of lifting above shoulder
Activity Goals – (Drawing/Craft):
To have a mini art project completed every 2 months
Hopefully, create something useful as maybe a birthday gift
Activity Goals – (Piano):
To score/pass my piano exam in November!
Also to start learning some Disney songs like “Colours of the Wind” and some anime songs like perhaps “This Game” in No Game No Life 🙂
Just suddenly felt like posting a conversation I was having with my mom while we were doing 7 Minutes together
Me: Urgh! My arms are so tired! I can barely hold my body up.
Mom: Then exercise your arms.
Me: Isn’t this meant to work your core? [suddenly thinks of a dumb idea]
Me: You know how plank is actually just exercising the core by suspending the stomach by two points (arms and feet)?
Mom: [giving me a side eye] Sort of…
Me: What if we suspend our body like a bridge between the chair and the sofa? Then we don’t even need to use our arms nor worry about our legs slipping off!
Mom: [Buries her head in her hands] And this is the result of my daughter’s education…
Needless to say, I attempted it. Just know that it is actually hard to suspend yourself like that. You would just feel like your back is breaking.
It’s been a while since my internship with Dentsu and I am starting to crave for some more work.
Yes, it has been great relaxing at home and having time to laze around but I still have a month of holidays to go before school starts.
So I decided to take the initiative and look for some temporary work!
At first, I did some search on the internet for temporary jobs. However, there weren’t any jobs that are 1 month or less.
So I decided to go to a mall to apply for one!
And my, it was so nerve-wracking! Like I honestly, I can’t find the words to describe the feeling.
My heart was pounding very hard.
My mind keeps thinking about how it’s impossible for me
My eyes waver at the thought that I might be imposing on them.
I first went to FairPrice to see if there were any promoter jobs I could do. That’s because when mom narrates to me about her past, she would always have the fact that she went to work as a promoter in a supermarket to earn some pocket money. Paying her for each box of ice cream she managed to sell.
I approached the customer service counter and asked whether they had an opening for a temporary job for a student as I was on holiday. She handed me this form and asked me to fill it. Not much I can say about it, except the fact that I feel self-conscious filling up the form right at the counter while there are other customers.
After handing the form back to her, I walked around the mall to look for recruitment signs.
There were a lot of shops surprisingly that had recruitment posters put out, though most of them required you to call to their headquarters to the human resource team.
Later, I went to BreadTalk and Hong Kee to ask for any part-time jobs.
BreadTalk has shown interest in having me as a promoter, though my father accidentally told them that I have a two month holiday (it’s had) while Hong Kee showed concern about me as a 16 years old girl working in a dangerous working place as it involves hot water and is in a kitchen.
I feel like I really learned a lot from this experience, as I had to puff up my chest and confidently present myself to the managers. I also got a feel of how it is like filling up a recruitment form.
UPDATE on 22 Jul 2019 Monday:
I have not received any calls as of today, so I guess Bread
UPDATE on 27 Jul 2019 Saturday:
Yeaaaahhhh, I don’t think I’m gonna ever get a call.
Even if they did, I don’t think I will be going for them as I will be away for the rest of August.
Tee Hee!
UPDATE on 31 Jul 2019 Wednesday:
They actually called! But I told her that I have other things planned as I’m will be starting school soon.
Just on Friday (5 Jul), I read a simple but amazing book called Momo by Michael Ende.
It’s about an orphaned girl named Momo, who is blessed with an extraordinary gift for listening standing up against the time thieves who are also taking away the joy and happiness of the town.
Inspired by some of the beautiful descriptions, I decided to draw some of them myself.
[Though I had noted that the book has all rights reserved, meaning that whatever that is related to must have permission from the author/artist/translator. They can have my interpretation of the book if they want.]
Initial gathering and brainstorming of Momo
So first, I gather information on Momo’s appearance and listed them down so that I can refer to them at any time.
Then on the right, I decided to search up a normal 10 years old body proportion as a reference
In the middle, I drew two variations of Momo, each with a slight change.
At the bottom, I tried out different angles for her head and torso, giving myself a better understanding and consolidate my interpretation of the character
At the next page, I drew a mini overall image of the scene I’ve imagined while enlarging the body posture to get a better sense of how it would look like and whether it would work.
In the end, I chose to draw the scene in Page 165, because…
It is a scene right in the middle of the book, which means it captures the essence of the storyline which is related to time
Cassiopeia, undoubtedly an important character in the book is in the scene
Momo is shown in a full-body pose, allowing all the details to be properly shown, thus showing my understanding of the character
After choosing the scene, I drew it onto an A4 while adding the other details like the numerous clocks described in the book.
I used a blue colour pencil instead of a regular lead pencil because not only does lead pencil smudges, it also dirties the paint while in contact with water. I had to refer to multiple references at times to grasp the different clocks I plan to include.
After getting a rough layout of the drawing, I used my drawing pens to outline the objects. I used different pen widths to differentiate the distance between the object, to set the objects apart from each other as well as highlight important features of the drawing. For the thinnest pen, I used it for light shading to create depth within the drawing.
I then erased the colour pencils and set up the workspace to get started with watercolour.
I (literally) elevated the painting as it is not only easier to paint, but that it allows the paint to flow down and spread as evenly as possible due to the fact that I am using watercolourThis is my set up: paints on the left, with the water cup (which was moved while I was cleaning) and cloth on the right.
I started with the background first with a light yellow/orange colour to fill up the white space before moving onto the back of the grandfather clock on the left. I then did the rest of the clocks. After adding the wooden grains on some of the clocks, I decided to add some blue to the painting to indicate glass storage. I finally moved onto the main characters of the drawing. As I felt that Momo was not popping up enough so I outline her with purple watercolour (as it is the complementary colour of yellow/orange)
The drawing before it is signed. The paper tends to warp when painting with watercolour. But thankfully it’s watercolour paper, or else pulps will start to form due to it unable to handle so much water.The scanned version. It’s a little too bright to my liking. The one above is what I actually see.
Overall, I am very satisfied with the drawing, though if possible, I would like to redo the inking of the circular clocks as they are a little wonky.
My favourite part of the drawing is definitely Momo and Cassiopeia as I felt that they really managed to stand out within the drawing (though this is probably because I left them the last and managed to improve/brush up my painting skills)
It has been so long since I’ve last drawn/posted my drawings!
As it’s now summer break, and there isn’t anything major/holiday away trips going on, I can finally find the time to draw!
So Jun 30, I was reorganising my drawers and shelves (something long overdue..) when I found my old folio of drawings!
The original source of inspiration (to redo)
Looking back at my artworks, I decided to redo some of them, especially those that contain a human figure.
At the top right, I drew a small overall image of how I would like the character to look like, just vague enough to plan out her personality and looks.
Then around the small drawing, I begin sketching out different poses which the character may take.
As I personally like the one on the bottom right, especially the feet, I decided to draw on a separate piece of paper to enlarge and ink it.
While doing so, I made some changes from the original draft
I decided to ditch the wings and go for curving lines (IDK what it’s called) as I felt that the top part of the drawing would be too heavy.
I changed the pose of the right hand from saluting to combing through her hair as I felt that the previous one is inappropriate for the stance she is in
I had the left side of the drawing cut out using both scissors (for the overall shape) and a crafting knife (for finer details and the white spaces). I thought it’d be cooler to have text featured as half of the background to make the character stand out more.
What I would like to improve:
I find that the waist part was looking too small, perhaps widen it more?
The composition of the work – The character should be placed further to the right as there is a lot of unnecessary white space.
It has been quite a time gap between January and my recent posts regarding the internship.
[Sigh] Well, it really couldn’t be helped since it was pretty busy for me, Tee Hee!
Still, let’s just kind of summarize my 5 months of inactiveness, shall we?
February
This month is when things start to pick up its pace, as awareness of exam
March
This month is definitely one of the highlights of the year as the badminton season came for us.
There has definitely been some ups and downs. With one of the major drama being the team’s lineup for SEASAC. Since the beginning of the season, there were two possible lineups established for us:
Position
Potential lineup 1
Potential lineup 2
Singles 1
Yukta
Yukta
S2
Xuan Ru
Xuan Ru
S3
Vamakshi
Kylie
Doubles 1
Kylie & Sara
Vamakshi & Sara
D2
Khantey & Eileen
Khantey & Eileen
Reserve
Judy
Judy
Kylie had always been playing and training as a singles player ever since she’s been in the team. With her in third singles, it’s a sure winning point for us. Plus, as she is graduating this year, it would be best if we respect her wishes to give her a great final year.
Vamakshi without a doubt is a singles player, something I can definitely attest to since I have played doubles with her before. Training her to be a doubles play will be difficult, especially since all the players in the team are right-handed, which means that it is harder for her potential partners to get used to a left-hander in a short time span.
Fortunately, as we are the host for 2019’s SEASAC Badminton, we still had time to change our line up, so we decided to drag it out as long as possible.
However, during our Bangkok, we found out that Khantey and Sara worked really well together. Khantey was a strong front player, tapping all the front shots down and “killing” them. Sara, on the other hand, was a strong back player, constantly retrieving the shots with her strong forehand lobs.
And that puts us in another predicament. We want to change our first doubles.
So it came down to another 2 potential lineups for us.
Position
Potential lineup 3
Potential lineup 4
Singles 1
Yukta
Yukta
S2
Xuan Ru
Xuan Ru
S3
Vamakshi
Kylie
Doubles 1
Khantey & Sara
Khantey & Sara
D2
Kylie & Eileen
Vamakshi & Eileen
Reserve
Judy
Judy
However, as we were discussing between ourselves (teammates), our coach began to feel like we were drifting apart and that we were hiding something between us.
So on Monday before SEASAC, we as a team had an emotional and final talk about the lineup and trust, ending with some of our members feeling worried and guilty about the fact that our coach had cried.
It was hard coming to terms with it as a team. I remember talking with Khantey about it. It went something along the lines of this:
K – I feel so guilty.
X – Why? Coach made her choice on what she thought best. Why should you be guilty? I’m not. We have to accept it.
K – You aren’t the one who’s involved in the change, of course, you aren’t guilty.
Thankfully, the tense atmosphere within the team wore off, with this as our final lineup.
Position
Potential lineup 4
Singles 1
Yukta
S2
Xuan Ru
S3
Kylie
Doubles 1
Khantey & Sara
D2
Vamakshi & Eileen
Reserve
Judy
The day came
I am really proud of my team this year, as we truly bond together throughout the season. The amount of encouragement and support we had for each other really pushed our team far!
Our growth as a team was truly amazing.
A photo of us celebrating as our first doubles, Khantey and Sara, secure a position for us in the finals. Truly one of the best moments of the season as we won our counterpart, Dover. That’s Yukta jump hugging Khantey, who’s holding the racket, with Kai En running towards them. On the right, there’s Coach Wei Yin fist pumping.
What came in soon was the Grade 12s’ graduation Grand Walk.
This year, I had many dear friends in the Grand Walk, all from the badminton team and the 0WES committee. I made them each a card (which I really didn’t have time to take a picture of) with feelings that I attempt to convey.
There was this indescribable feeling when I watch the Grade 12s’ go… Two more years and that will be me there…
April and May were studying months.
Study, study, study.
I dropped badminton and piano to catch up on my studies which I have been neglecting during March for badminton… (Not an honour student…)
I did lots of past papers for each subject and I have to say, my efforts paid off as I am feeling very confident with no regrets during my tests.
Now we have to wait till 13 August for the results.
We also prepared farewell gifts for my two best friends Adam and Haruki, who are moving back to England and Japan respectively. We both 2 footballs for Haruki, one signed with all of our friends’ signature and one to actually play with, while we got a Warhammer figurine for Adam, which Iman and I painted.
Izzy organised the dinner at PS cafe Martin Rd on 14 June for the farewell dinner.
It’s funny how time just flies. Sooner or later, I will be graduating, living a life that I might not be able to predict.
I had a great time these 2 years, in fact, they are currently the best 2 years of my life.
I hope that even if we (friends) drift apart, we will reconnect again and still be friends.
Can you believe it? It’s already the last day of the internship at Dentsu!
This morning, despite feeling pretty confident with the route (even though it has really only been a mere 5 days), I missed the stop while riding the bus towards Eunos MRT station. Although this can be blamed at my absent-mindedness, I have a hunch that it is also because it really hit me hard that today’s the last day at Dentsu.
After coming in early again, I begin revising my Day 4 post as well as read more about data engineering and scientist to prepare some questions that I can ask
To data scientist – Analyses raw data into insights
How often do you analyse data during a campaign?
Can you describe your day-to-day responsibilities?
To data engineer – transform data into a useful format for data scientists to analyse
How often do you gather analytic logs?
What type of data do you gather in Dentsu?
Can you walk us through how a pipeline works and the process of creating one?
While researching, Rimi came over to let me know that there will be a pizza lunch for the Gyro team (as 2 people are leaving aside from me). Sadly, since it clashes with the lunch with the GDIC data experts, I couldn’t make it. So I am a little down from the fact that I couldn’t have lunch with the team. (Though Rimi said that she’ll leave some pizza for me)
Today, Geraldson gave Shi Yi and I a new campaign to start trafficking!
On the large monitor, there’s the E-mail that Geraldson sent to Shi Yi. I didn’t receive it because the school’s e-mail was too long. LOL
So first, we had to generate the tag for each ad so that we can later through various platforms like LinkedIn Campaign Manager track which channels were the most effective as well as how many … (impressions, clicks etc.) using the UTM tool that I was talking about on Day 1.
So basically from the link (which is tagged), we know that the user came from the Straits Times Home page that contains a display image of the ad that is about GFC (Great Family Care) from the campaign Great Eastern Life Great Family Care 2019 (I am guessing this part using context from the post)
Then after getting the new URL, we inputted it into a trafficking spreadsheet under the name Target URL, which is then to be sent to the trafficking team.
Here’s what it kind of looks like:
Campaign – Publisher – Geo – Site Name – Placement Name – Language – Creative Size – Creative Format – File Size – Looping Required – Max Looping – Clicktag – Start Date – End Date – Target URL
At 12 pm, we (the 5 interns from UWCSEA East) had lunch with the data engineer and data scientist from GDIC
Overall, it was more like a casual conversation aside from the moments when they were explaining their roles (Which I, truth to be told, didn’t really understand. Like their role in Dentsu and stuff like that)
The E-mail Shi Yi sent me
After that, I receive some work from Shi Yi! (YAY!)
So basically, I was to compare two reports from the two phases of a campaign, where I would note down my observations about the differences between the two data.
It was interesting to see the different results the same campaign can produce. Though sometimes I feel like I am thinking too much to spot a difference.
At 5 pm, I said goodbye to the media team and Justin, of course after taking a picture with them. I really can’t thank them enough for having me with them. (Like babysitting me… LOL)
A final picture of the office.
I headed down to the reception room, exactly where I first entered on the first day at Dentsu to return the pass that we were given. Though the card itself was returned, we were allowed to keep to tag as a memento.
I photoshopped Haruki’s head into it since he was away at the Innovfest Unbound conference
Today is a learning for me, emotionally, as I go through a short journey of acceptance: resistance, resignation, acceptance, embracing.
Although I am sad that the internship is over, and that I probably won’t have the chance to work with the media team, I have to say: Thank you, Shi Yi, Rimi, Geraldson (and Justin!), for making my first internship so amazing and wonderful.
May we cross path again.
Fr left to right: Geraldson, Rimi, Xuan Ru (ME!), Shi Yi. Once again, if any of you are reading this post, thank you.
