Reflection
The process of making this film has been very rocky. There were many moments my friends wanted to quit, including myself. But at the end of the day, we went through with it. Originally, I wanted to have all the filming done for the project by December 2020. After I realized that wasn’t enough time, I aimed for Summer 2021. We actually managed to complete all the major shoots by summer 2021 which was a very accomplishing feeling. Similar to the feeling I experienced once I finally figured out the ending of the story after months of contemplating and rewriting. Once it all clicked together it was beyond satisfying. Nevertheless, after completing all the major shoots, I took time off the project and focused on school once grade 12 began. Then I got back into working on it as there were still several minor shoots and other work to be done regarding this project. I can confidently say that I have finished all major and minor shoots for the entire project. It feels really great to be able to say that. There were some moments I really didn’t think I would make it to this point. This is something I wrote down in December 2020.
I remember I had a breakdown during that holiday. I had just done one intense shoot and had only one day to prepare the props, location, write the script and organize my friends to come for another massive shoot the day after. I’m grateful for my parents who brought me out of it and got me back on track, otherwise, I might have given up. It’s sad because throughout the full process I was so obsessed with myself, the only thing that mattered was my film project and I often stepped over other people’s feelings to get what I want. I only came to realise this during the start of grade 12 after I talked to one of my friends about their perspective towards helping others, and I took a while to reflect on my life and who I am as a person and if its the kind of person I want to be.
Other points of reflection:
I needed a bigger crew to alleviate the stress of my shoulders. Just the little things like taking too much time on a single shot, organizing what shots to get next, and providing food for the cast, these minor inconveniences add up and really harmed my headspace which impacted my ability to direct/act effectively.
Originally, I intended this project to be a TV series consisting of short 2-10 minute long videos uploaded to YouTube. We stuck with that, but I also thought it would be nice to keep it all into one big movie, just to simplify the presentation of the project in the future. It wasn’t as easy as just piling the separate videos into one long video though, in fact, I had to film extra scenes, adjust some existing scenes and remove some unnecessary scenes in order to make all flow well as a feature film.
What now?
Currently, it is March 2022. My final IB exams are coming up in two months. I wanted to have this project done and published before the exams, but it seems that is not going to be the case. The final stage is the editing process. Its a lot less stressful because I don’t have to worry about others or external factors, but at the same time, it is painful and tedious. All of the flaws that we overlooked in every shot suddenly stand out. “If only we had just done/got this then it would have been perfect!” It’s hard to control the urge to reshoot stuff. But I am learning to let go and not be stubborn. My current plan is to put this project to the side and put all of my attention into schoolwork. I just had my mock exams and I performed very poorly, so I need to make sure my grades go up, then afterwards I can continue my work. There is an external time pressure that exists for this project, I gave myself the deadline to release it once the next major update for the platformer game Geometry Dash releases. That way I could capitlise off the event and gain a large viewership for my work. The blessing/curse is that I do not know when the update would be released, and the developer is notorious for taking years to release updates. Substantial evidence has gathered across the past two years that the update will inevitably come out, it just comes down to a matter of when he finishes it. I just have to hope it does not come out within the next few months, otherwise my project won’t be ready and I would have missed the opportunity. But there is no point worrying too much about it as it is out of my control. For now, it is best I just focus on what I can control.
I created this edting timeline for me to stay on track with editing everything. Although I made it very organised, unfortunately, I couldn’t stick to it. I guess I still don’t know how to effectively manage my time and balance between homework, work, and life.
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