Recording Link: here
Criteria A: Knowledge, Understanding, and Interpretation
7/10
“To what extent does the candidate make use of knowledge and understanding of the extracts and the works/texts to draw conclusions in relation to the global issue?”
I also was able to draw a conclusion and situate the work within a broader context, suggesting that Duffy wants readers to think about how we can effectively help places in conflict. This was further explored in my answer to Riachny’s question, but I feel I could’ve discussed the significance of War Photographer in a bit more detail within the actual O itself instead of explaining it in the answer to the question.
“How well does the candidate demonstrate knowledge and understanding of the extracts, and of the works/texts from which they were taken?”
I also discussed the poem in relation to other poems in the collection standing female nude, but I think I could’ve mentioned specific poems “Education for leisure” for exploring education and poverty, “Standing female nude” for exploring class dynamics and the arts, etc. I could’ve presented my knowledge a lot more clearly. State clearly “these link to power, politics and justice, especially because…”
“How well are ideas supported by references to the extracts, and to the works/texts?”
I think I was able to support my mini ideas/thesis strands, for example, I could support the idea of the deterioration of the photographer’s belief in his own work with the relevant evidence (religious allusions vs final stanza last line).
To further improve, I think I should focus on 2/3 pieces of evidence but really expand and develop the ideas with a lot more clarity because I felt I never really went into depth and only brushed the surface of a lot of pieces of evidence I chose to extract. I also feel the link to my thesis statement wasn’t as explicit as it should be, so at the end of my analysis I should always state how this links DIRECTLY back to the thesis. For example, I talked about Duffy bringing up whether it is even ethical for jobs such as war photographers to exist if it does not achieve the impact that it was created for, but I don’t clearly signpost how this idea links to my thesis of “the extent to which people in privilege can actually help places in conflict”.
Criterion B: Analysis and evaluation
“How well does the candidate use his or her knowledge and understanding of each of the extracts and their associated works/texts to analyse and evaluate the ways in which authorial choices present the global issue?”
7/10
I think I was able to give certain insightful views into the evidence selected, for example, analysing why Duffy used religion as a simile for comparing the work of the war photographer to. I discussed the tone of the poem in certain stanzas and looked at potential effects of this on the reader, but I did not showcase HOW Duffy uses a mocking tone. I did not use a specific example which exemplified the mocking tone and how this adds character to the poem. In my point about Duffy invoking guilt in the reader doesn’t explicitly link to my thesis statement. Rather, I started talking about media consumption and how we should be more responsible. Bringing in new ideas such as media is good however I should pay more attention to explicitly linking it to my global issue.
Criterion C: Focus and organization
– How well does the candidate deliver a structured, well-balanced and focused oral? How well does the candidate connect ideas in a cohesive manner?
5/10
I don’t think my oral had a clear structure becuase I felt my points didn’t build on each other. I think only my introduction, conclusion, and the “situating the text in a body of work” parts were clearly structured and had a concise point. My “body paragraphs” were a bit messy and although they sometimes connected between them: “the general public superficial engagement” point was brought up in a way that it connected to the previous point, however some points like Duffy invoking guilt in the reader did not seem to connect to the previous point of a mocking tone being used in the poem.
Criterion D: Language
How clear, accurate and effective is the language?
7/10
I tried to use words like simile, juxtaposition and contrast to enhance my analysis. I also attempted to use formal analytical words like “suggests”, “depicts” and “discusses”, however I also stumbled quite often on my own words and the points I made could have been made in a much more concise manner with the use of effective language.
Total score: 26/40
Overall Grade: 5