Paper 1 unseen (word for word, copied from my actual paper):
The multimodal text is a PSA produced by the Singapore Kindness Movement aimed towards those who are noisy at night and have neighbors who live close to them. Its purpose is to persuade the target audience to be more empathetic towards others and achieves this through use of visual and linguistic elements such as shot, composition and synthetic personalisation.
The context behind this PSA is the problem of people who are noisy at night to watch sporting events with their friends. The text assumes the audience to be a sports enthusiast who fails to empathize with their neighbors who are trying to sleep.
Both images provided in the text are long-shots, not only capturing the subject’s facial expressions and body but the background. The background of the image on the left acts as context to the reader as to what time it is in the text. The dark neighborhood makes it immediately clear that the subjects on the left image are causing a ruckus in the middle of the night and not during the day where it would be more socially acceptable, allowing the reader to know what exactly the issue is. The image on the right is also a long-shot with the subject in the center to focus on his struggle to sleep in the same time period as the people on the right.
The composition of the PSA is symmetrical with both the text and pose of the subject being mirrored on both sides. This symmetry allows for easy juxtaposition between the subjects on the left and the subject on the right, and encourages the reader to see the immediate connection between the rowdy sports enthusiast and the person who is trying to sleep. Not only does this mirror composition guide the eyes, it draws out the sympathy of the audience by making the two subjects similar. The central figures in both images take the same pose and facial expressions (albeit for different reasons) so that the audience who relates to the central figure in red feel a sense of familiarity with the man on the right, and thus easily empathize with him.
Furthermore, the PSA utilizes mise-en-scene to hint the duration at which the three people have been shouting for. The disproportionate number of cups on the coffee table suggest that the three have been shouting, cheering and bothering their neighbors for a long period of time.
The color choices is symbolic and contrasts the two sides: aggressive and calm. Though red can have positive connotations such as love, in this case the red uniforms symbolizes passion and aggression, which contrasts with the blue of the bed sheet, pillow and shirt of the man on the right side. The PSA wants to make it clear that these two actions and by extension these two characters (central figures) are polar opposites.
Additionally, the test uses synthetic personalisation to face the target audience to be one of the noisy football enthusiasts. “Your fun” and “his frustration” makes the situation easier to relate to and induces a sense of familiarity. As it is easier to empathize with those who you are more familiar with, the text is effective in putting the audience in the blue-shirt man’s shoes, not just the red-shirt man’s.
Although the purpose of the text is to warn or advise quiet behavior, its general tone/register is casual, with “recipe for a night of fun” or even rhyming “cheering and jeering”. So it is clear that the goal of the Singapore Kindness Movement is not to antagonize football fans, but to create a comfortable neighborhood for all. This seemingly kind tone is beneficial to serving the texts purpose as people are less likely to listen to advice given by those who take an aggressive stance towards them.
Interestingly, all the subjects in the text are male. Though this may bear no significance for the sleeping man on the right, it may be a sign of underlying gender stereotypes within the Singapore movement. Women who are football fans exist yet the PSA fails to address them as a target audience. If this choice was deliberate it could mean that the Singaporean movement believes that the majority of noisy people in neighborhoods are men or generally inconsiderate neighbors are men.
The text relies on a few assumptions. That the audience is male, gather in groups at night and makes loud noises to cheer on their sports team (seen in the red and blue uniform/jerseys). People who are inconsiderate neighbors but are not male or sports fans may not take note of this PSA as they are not part of the target demographic.
Overall, this text attempts to evoke a sense of empathy within the target audience by drawing parallel between the two groups of people but also unintentionally reflects the underlying gender stereotypes within the movement (or perhaps Singaporean society).
Note: There are a lot of misspellings or errors in grammar. Sorry.
Reflection:
I received feedback which was to work on structure and evaluation. I often get the same feedback when it comes to essays (Japanese and English) “Your essay structure doesn’t make sense” or “It sounds like you’re listing things” and I just never knew how to improve my work. Looking at the other people’s essays I think it would be a good idea for me to use “The text uses (technique), (technique) and (technique) to convey (message)” in my introductory paragraph somewhere as the thesis statement. And lump together the techniques if they have a similar purpose for the reader.
^
eg: “The PSA uses shot, composition and colour to draw a parallel between the two characters and convey that the two groups of people are polar opposites and thus act as an example of the good neighbour and bad neighbour.”
Evaluation is also something I struggled to do in this essay. I stated a technique, where it is seen in the text, but not why it was used or its effect. So the entire essay becomes a list of things which doesn’t really seem to matter. “The disproportionate number of cups on the coffee table suggest that…” Yes, that was a deliberate choice. But why does it matter? Why not just have an empty table? What is the connection between “Disproportionate number of cups” and “Yelling and cheering for a long time”?
^
Better response(?): The text uses mise-en-scene to convey the passage of time through the placement of mugs. The disproportionate number of cups on the coffee table suggest that the three have been shouting, cheering and bothering their neighbors for a long period of time. Though some people may be fast-drinkers, usually drinking a whole mug of a liquid takes time. More mugs of coffee takes a longer period of time to finish. Thus more mugs on the table indicates that the people have been drinking for a while. This…
Final note:
I’m not really sure how to make my essays interesting to read. IB examiners go through tons of English papers and I’m clueless as to how I can make changes to the structure in order to make the essay less boring.