2 weeks ago, everyone anonymously wrote down conflicts/unpleasant things they faced at this school, and stuck them onto large pieces of paper containing titles such as ‘gender’, ‘race’, or ‘grades’. I had expected the amount of sticky notes on the mentioned areas, but it was quite surprising to see the amount of notes that appeared under the scholar section. I personally couldn’t tell scholars apart from other students, and it was strange to find that some scholars have found themselves labeled, and categorised differently than normal students. What was even more surprising was that many new students felt they had a hard time fitting in, where they deemed finding friends difficult enough to consider it a problem in our school. I want to explore this topic more in this reflection. When I joined in grade 3, I was warmly welcomed (perhaps even overwhelmed) by the amount of smiling classmates who knew my name before I even entered. I feel I have a responsibility to help students integrate into the school, just as others have helped me.

Amongst the sticky notes on the new student section, some themes that stuck with me the most was that friend circles were already well formed, making it hard for the students to integrate – some students even mentioned being ditched by the old student assigned to guide them. Its appalling that this should happen. I think that one of the issues that may have caused this is our student body’s general inability to commit; because we are given so much opportunities, and we are encouraged to sign up for as many things as we can – to appear capable/successful – I’ve observed over my clubs that some people have developed the habit of dropping commitments. Or, perhaps, this is just what teenagers do, when they have under-developed prefrontal cortexes.

Since the start of the year, I have tried to be friendlier, and in some cases this did work and I made a few new friends, but most of the time, it ended being those interactions when you know the name of someone and just smile at them when they show up. There are limitations to how much a brain can remember, and how much time I have. With my activities and global concern, I’m not always able to sit with my friends at lunch, and I admit that oftentimes, I would rather complain about life and make jokes with old friends, who I barely see during classes.

IFP task: “What strategies might you use in order to develop a transformative solution to this issue and how? Create a plan of action.”

Issue: Social inclusion for new students

Barriers:

• lunchtime activities <- could be used as opportunity to meet people… that is, if people don’t clump with my friends
• social aptitude of those around them: it is difficult to transition from small talk to meaningful/fun conversation
• size of student body; people with similar interests may not cross paths
• Need for students to maintain old friendships <- does not necessarily need to be barrier
• Academic stress and not wanting to interact with people due to exhaustion

possible solutions:

• For some reason I think a grade-wide dating-style friend app might be effective, if people use it.
• Create more interactive clubs like IFP, or anime club, where people could talk about important matters to skip the small talk and dive into topics that matter/things they love
• Improve social skills. Check in with people/find common interests -> Perhaps mentor workshops
• For myself: Stop sputtering inside jokes and jargon around people who don’t get them

Ultimately, teachers facilitate students’ interactions at school, and to improve the sociability of students on a large scale, some teacher involvement would be needed. However, social skills workshops could be student run – it may be awkward for those having to run it, but it could be more comfortable if a 12th grader runs it for 11th grade, or the grades below them. The dating-style app would be too embarrassing for everyone, but perhaps less so if it’s incorporated into teamie, and forcefully recommends friends to people in similar subjects/similar interests. The tedious team building activities in the start of the year might be better off if they are replaced by ifp conferences.

Friends have to come naturally, but writing this reflection has helped me spot some opportunities in my own life to initiate interactions.