It might just be because that week I was feeling kind of down, but it was hard for me to get into the proper mood for the “white line” exercise thing. I spent most of the week feeling dull and in a neutral state of mind, so it was hard to get into an excited mood. I didn’t really “solve” the problem; I just gave it the best I could. I think that as long as I was willing to work hard for the workshop, it was fine not being so happy and excited.

It was also hard keeping multiple tasks in mind. When we were stomping around the stage, it was difficult for me to make sure I was stomping down hard enough, if I was keeping my stance correct, if I was keeping a good enough tempo or whether I was on beat with the music or not (there is a reason why I failed at band in my old school), at the same time as keeping in mind where my classmates were, the gaps created on the stage, and being aware of the audience. At one point, I found myself kind of just zoning out instead of focusing. I think. I don’t really remember much of how I got through this exercise. If I ever had a moment when I just disconnected from my body, this is the moment. I think given enough time, I would have eventually got it; but since we had limited time, I didn’t really solve that problem too.

I think I did well on the energy level exercise, at level one, when we had no energy. It’s me every day and every weekend.

Most of the things we did during the workshop was hard. Making the stance was also hard because since I have flat feet, it’s hard to keep my feet together and my toes touching. My feet kind of want to stay in a pidgeon-foot formation.

I find it difficult to keep track of multiple things at once, and the workshop helped me be aware of how much more I need to keep in mind while acting. Before I thought it was just my lines, other people’s lines, what other people were doing, what I was doing and going to do, and what my posture was. Now I know there is so much more. And that is terrifying.

Probably write down the things to keep in mind on my notes, think more of how to implement the Suzuki stance into my acting, remember to keep my energy at a level six.

One of the themes portrayed in the play was the constant surveillance from “Big Brother” on the general populace, and Winston’s paranoia of his lack of privacy. When Winston found the “hidden” room, the audience sees Winston and Julia’s interactions within the room through a screen. I found it interesting to how the play leads the audience into thinking that the screen is only there for the audience’s benefit, only to turn out that it was just “Big Brother” spying on them.

Also, from the early parts of the play, when Winston is admonished for not participating in the the morning workout by the telescreen, the audience finds out that the telescreen is large, based on how much space the light from the screen covers. From that moment, the audience thinks that telescreens are large and obvious, so it leads us further into the false idea that the “hidden” room is safe because neither Winston nor Julia noticed a big screen.

 

It was also interesting how the play kept on switching from time period to time period. It starts off in the beginning of Winston’s story, moves to the future, then back to Winston, and etc. And there is a repetition in each different time period. For example, the rhyme “Oranges and Lemons” is repeated, as well as the child’s demand for chocolate and the mother’s declination. Both are phrases and echoes from Winston’s past that haunt him.

I kind of interpreted the constant shift in time as flashbacks or musings that Winston has, either as he becomes more aware of how oppressed his environment is or during his “reeducation”. The voice, that we discover to be O’Brien’s, keep on asking him where he is or how Winston will meet him in a place with no darkness. Winston would have discovered that O’Brien is not an ally, and there is no interaction between Winston and O’Brien until just before Winston’s capture, so Winston couldn’t have heard these words from O’Brien before his torture. Winston relies heavily on the past, and I feel like going through Winston’s past and then changing it would be a method O’Brien, or rather the government, would feel inclined to use. If you control the past, you can control the present and future.

Likewise, it might also be the government’s way of mocking Winston’s dependence on the past. Especially when the shopkeeper/government agent finished the rhyme that Winston had been chasing, just for old time’s sake. Because, whether or not Winston had been broken at this point, Winston knows that there is simply nothing he can do to stop “Big Brother”, whether he holds onto his memories or not.

 

A motif that repeats a lot, especially during transitions between scenes, is that the lights flash really bright and then off, accompanied by a loud sound. It could be meant to keep the audience on their toes, as Winston is constantly looking over his shoulder during the play, always worrying about being caught or being seen. It could also be a way to get the audience to feel Winston’s fear whenever he feels fear. For example, the torture scene.

 

When O’Brien allowed Winston to share his ideas with the “future” and the camera turn on, and Winston and O’Brien face the audience, it is obvious that we– the audience– are the future. The play is implying that the events in 1984 have already come to pass, and we are the ones who should learn from Winston. The fourth wall is broken. And when Winston is tortured again after his fruitless speech to the audience, he pleads for us (again, the audience) for help, saying that we can stop him from being hurt. I feel that this is a moment that really plays on the guilt of the audience.