April 2020 – Rachel Jung

Comments:

Need to work on time management and grouping concepts; I had a hard time deciding how to outline my essay
I don’t think I annotated my extract enough; likewise, I forgot the topic, so I wasn’t particularly focused on annotating the extract to answer the question
Teacher’s comments: too repetitive (mentioned “tension” too much) and didn’t qualify what tension meant or what it achieved; didn’t contextualise the extract, so some of the points are confusing; needed to zoom in more
- I need to remember to mention things outside the extract if they are important in relation to the extract and topic (ie heat)
I think I chose a bad extract for me because I’m not sure if I actually understood the techniques used in the extract or how it contributed to building tension

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e-Hx1H4BoELZnIMozOJ90tZStB4832D5uxunEcL5ARo/edit?usp=sharing

Comments:

Teacher’s comments: Forgot to talk about or mention lineation; sometimes need clarification on points
Challenges: deciding on how to organise topics of body paragraphs and relate them to theme of kindness and beauty
Personal notes: For body paragraph 3, I should switch the last sentence with the topic sentence because it’s much more clearer whereas my original topic sentence was a bit messy and made more sense after I finished showing all my evidence; I spent around three days planning out and writing the essay, and most of the time went into organising concepts and deciding what evidence to use from my notes and what I should keep out; need to work on time management

Rachel Jung