1. Addresses Question

The excellent TOK essay was very focused on the essay question although it did branch out to explore different avenues related to the topic there was a consistent, clear sense of the essay question. Whereas in the mediocre essay it became very difficult to follow due to the fact that at first it appears that the author is attempting to show how neutral questions only exist in factual subjects such as mathematics but then at the end suddenly deviates to say there is no such thing as a neutral question in contrast with most of their previous points. This causes slight confusion resulting in rereading sections of the essay to try and grasp how they came to this conclusion and after 3 reads I have only identified one sentence that could support it.

In conclusion, to write an excellent TOK essay you must remember to focus on the essay question and try not to deviate or branch out into other topics, as this makes it very difficult to follow.

2. Clear Structure

Both essays were comparing their essay question across two subjects; in the excellent essays case it was Art and Science and in the mediocre one it was History and Maths, a clear distinguishing factor between the two essays was how easy it was to tell what the author was focusing on in that paragraph or section. In the excellent essay, there was a clear sense of structure; an introduction followed by a paragraph on what is robust knowledge, followed by one on consensus and the remainders were Art, Science, Art + Science and a conclusion (each paragraphed respectively). This created a clear distinction between the author’s points and a flow which led to it being easier to read and follow that simply wasn’t there in the mediocre essay.

In summary, a good TOK essay or any essay for this matter needs to have a clear sense of structure which aids in creating a flow for the reader to follow.

3. Thesis/ Opening

A strong thesis statement can make an essay, it sets the scene, tone and topic for the following essay and helps the reader to properly understand what exactly the essay is focused on. Both the essays did have a thesis, however in the case of the mediocre essay in their whole first paragraph only one sentence was truly on topic. The excellent essay had a clear thesis, spanning across multiple sentences that really clarified the aim of the essay and how the author planned on achieving it. As a reader, this greatly assisted in following the author’s argument and discussion throughout the rest of the essay as it showed what the author was attempting to convey in greater detail.