Since CAS is quite a big part and a necessity for the IB diploma, it’s probably a good idea to first know how I am and what I like so that the choices I make for CAS are meaningful for me and will be choices that I will enjoy and learn from. I also need to make a good first plan so I do not fall behind on those choices and that I have a clear idea on how I will organise my time to complete CAS.
I first looked a little bit into myself, and below is a table that allowed me to really think about myself in order to really understand who I am and make my choices based on who I am and how I can use those choices to develop myself.
To be honest, it was difficult to really describe myself with few words about my skills, qualities, strengths and weaknesses. Placing words such as “communication”, “inquirer”, “critical thinker” and other such words that don’t evoke much meaning or emotion, cannot of course really describe who I am. It would, therefore, be easier to show who I am and that will be possible when I start writing reflections, giving evidence and reflections on the choices I have made. However, of course, this is just a starting point and the main output from this first profile analysis is that I am quite independent and organised but I don’t really like to work with other people (which sounds really bad), or rather that I feel like its unproductive working in group, especially with people who are not nearly as interested or put as much as effort as you. Despite this, there are some cases in the past, where collaborating with other people hasn’t been an issue and has rather been helpful, especially with comming up with ideas and distributing responsibilities. Yet that has only happened if the group works well (with people that work well, of course). I, therefore, need to improve on those skills and possibly with the choices I have made (and continuing choices from previous years) will allow me to develop these collaboration skills. In addition to collaboration, I sometimes do not speak enough as I should or can even though expressing myself and opinions already easier when writing. What I mean is that I need to improve on my verbal communication skills which sort of goes hand in hand with collaboration.
In addition to those skills and qualities, I had to think about what my interests are. This is hard because I really enjoy a lot of things whether that is sports, creative activities like music or art, or even the more mathematical and science areas to reading and skateboarding. I guess that most people have several interests, but the difficult thing for me is to find balance because I obviously cannot do everything and even if I did a lot of activities, I would be too busy to do other things.
Above is some of the planning I made for the first few seasons (until about February). I am trying a few different activities and also continuing those I have done for a few years. In terms of creativity and service, these are no issues because I have time for these activities and I know that I will enjoy them. Solar For East (a group that a few of us students started (I joined later on) to install solar on our school roofs) and Gili Eco Trust, a GC (global concern) and NGO based in the Gili islands of Indonesia that aims to improve the well-being and health of coral reefs, are services that I have participated in previous years. I will try to pursue a leadership role at Gili Eco Trust which will be something new. Although I have done gardening services in the past, this gardening service is a bit new and I have some past similar experiences. As you may have noticed, these services are all environmental and all though all issues are important, I had to do something environmental because it is the issue that I am most willing to make a change and is the issue I think is the most critical by far. If one doesn’t think about the enviornment then no other issue can be solved because we’ll all die or just fail as humanity. It is also an issue that I find comforting and all most an issue where I find good well-being. Gardening and doing things for the environment has the same calming, happiness and even gratitude sensations as others may have when helping the elderly or those in need.
I have played the cello in a symphony orchestra for about five years and have enjoyed it a lot. However, this year I want to try new things in terms of the music area. I can also play the double bass, and that may be something I can play in the symphony orchestra at times and I have also been accepted the chamber music ensemble (where I play the double bass). This is something new and something I look forward to. My conductor also plays the double bass and I have been and will be learning from him so that I can stretch myself as a musician. Although I don’t have time for it now, I might be able to join the jazz band in a few of their performances as a bassist. This will be something I will be working towards.
Now to activities where I feel the most disappointment and even dread in myself. I wish I had the courage to sign up for sports and tryouts. However, since I am in my adolescent years where groups and status quo must be maintained meaning it is difficult to be someone new or try something new due to fear of being called out or feeling embarrassed or filling like you don’t fit in. Normally, fitting in isn’t a big issue for me or what I mean is that it doesn’t really matter to me. But when it comes sports and even something like cultural (a dance festival) and drama productions, I have trouble. Of course, it is important to be a risk-taker and not care about what other people think but at the age, I am right now, and slightly because of my introvert personality at school (as I do not have these problems outside of school), I can’t. I can see that in the future I won’t have a problem trying new things and being a risk-taker, but at school the story is different. These activities (drama productions, sports and other such activities (though not all of them)) will be things I am willing to regret not taking and have accepted that. Due to my previous experiences with sports at this school and in addition to the things I said before, I probably won’t be joining such activities. However it doesn’t mean that I will not join, it may be that I develop enough courage to join these activities.
Before I attended this amazing school little more than two years ago, I played a lot of sports ad was in a few sports teams at my previous two schools. Although I did try a few sports such as track and field, basketball, badminton and a few others at UWCSEA, I still don’t feel satisfied in the choices I have made in terms of sports. I used to be a really good goalie for football teams at my old school and had a lot of fun and loved it, and still love playing football today. However, I can’t even develop the courage to ask if I can play football with the students who already due during break let alone joining the football team, due to the things I said above. I might try or I might accept this because I am already doing a lot of things. I feel like I have chosen not to participate in drama productions, or sports or even other activities because I will not have the time (or I might, but I won’t be happy spending too much time at school and not at home and doing other things I enjoy).
The reason I would participate in a drama production or culturama would be just because I want to feel like I have done it (although I have already participated in a few drama productions and musicals at my previous schools). I would participate in a sport of a drama production because I really, really want to do it (okay may except for like football) and enjoy putting massive amounts of effort. I probably am good enough for these actives but I have chosen not too because of time and choosing good choices, choosing the choices that I really want to do and something I will enjoy throughout. That’s why I am doing rock climbing, something where I know I will enjoy and have had previous experience with. If I did audition for a drama production or try out for football (or any other sport), I probably would be accepted but I would not be comfortable the whole time (and I know people say that you should step out of one’s comfort zone, but in this case I can’t) and probably not enjoy the whole way through (maybe I will but I don’t want to make the wrong choice).
It may have been good to really show myself who I am and why I am not choosing some activities over others and why I am choosing only a few activities. This is my CAS profile and these are ideas I will be thinking about throughout this journey. Maybe I will participate in a drama production or join sports team, but I’ll have to see and develop myself the whole way through. I guess I just have to find out.
