After getting verbal feedback from my teacher, I understood the areas of improvement that would help push my understanding of the novel to a greater degree. The feedback provided presented potential improvement in the organization and clarity of my points. Structuring my essay helped me organize my thoughts in a point, evidence, analysis format, which was not clearly shown in my initial essay submission. Similarly, I decided to alter my thesis statement in order to narrow down my thoughts to a specific area and the use of symbolism, which allowed me to develop my thinking and my evaluation of the symbols more thoroughly and in-depth. I understood that I could include Marxist and most importantly postcolonial perspectives into my essay to provide a greater understanding of the historical meaning and importance of staying in the norms and keeping the values of Japanese tradition in the modern-day. Some potentially provoking questions for Post-colonialist theory would be:

• Does this text present an unequal relationship between colonizer and colonized, and/or between one cultural or ethnic group and another? 
• How does the text represent aspects of colonial or cultural repression?
• Does this text present the struggle of the colonized to reclaim social or cultural power or identity either during a period of colonialism or in the post-colonial period? What obstacles does the text suggest might stand in the way of this process?

My initial essay submission presented the early stages of my thinking process and understanding of what the HL essay requires at that stage in time. My choice for analysis is a novel by Yasunari Kawabata “Thousand Cranes”, presenting a constant internal war between traditional values and the modern world. I decided to focus on the symbolism in the book due to being one of the most prominent devices used by the author and the topic that most interested me was the historical and psychological factors behind shifts in cultural values. This lead to my research question of How does Kawabata present shifts in cultural values throughout generations? After the initial essay feedback, I understood that in order to unpack examples more thoroughly, I will follow the structure of point, evidence, analysis, although add an additional step to connect it to my global issue and most importantly my thesis strand. I have to zoom out of precise details and connect to overarching themes and ideas while maintaining purpose and focusing on my proven point.

Potential Area of improvement questions: 

• How might you provide a clear thesis statement connected to themes, a clearly related topic sentence, and a building of ideas? 
• How might you provide a detailed analysis of the novel instead of descriptions or narrations or summaries?
• How might you identify the use of language and structure to develop themes?  
• How might you clearly discuss the conventions of his novel to show your understanding of the body of work?
• How might you structure your essay better to show a clear P-E-A analysis?

How might you structure your essay better to show the connection between your thesis, topic sentences, concluding sentences, and conclusion?

I can review the slide deck and learn relevant terminology in relation to every type of text studied. I cant use generalized terms, instead, I have to use specific and precise wording to avoid simple descriptions. My language should be very clear, effective, carefully chosen, and precise, with a high degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary, and sentence construction; register and style are effective and appropriate to the task. 

Overall, the mock exam was an effective learning experience regarding time management and understanding where my weak spots in my understanding of lexical elements, and remembering which terminology to revise.

How might you create a clearer thesis statement to help organize your idea better? 

I need to make sure to capture not only the devices that I will be exploring in my text but also the overarching theme and meaning that is created through those devices and potentially point to a global issue or intent of the text.

How might you comment more on visuals and discuss how the interplay between lexical, visual, and structural elements creates meaning?

I will ensure to create a balanced essay on both lexical and visual elements, to provide stronger evidence to support my point. I will make sure to mention a range of elements in my thesis to focus and structure my essay to a greater degree.

How might you use your learnings from previous texts effectively in your actual exam?

In order to improve for my final exam, I will ensure to spread out my timing more evenly and re-read – focus on three individual elements, rather than a range, which will allow me to zoom into the literal methods used by the author and reflect on the meaning that it creates. I want to focus on multiple perspectives and bring in specific global issues to push my understanding of the text more.

Universal ideas – individuals and society – life lesson