My initial essay submission presented the early stages of my thinking process and understanding of what the HL essay requires at that stage in time. My choice for analysis is a novel by Yasunari Kawabata “Thousand Cranes”, presenting a constant internal war between traditional values and the modern world. I decided to focus on the symbolism in the book due to being one of the most prominent devices used by the author and the topic that most interested me was the historical and psychological factors behind shifts in cultural values. This lead to my research question of How does Kawabata present shifts in cultural values throughout generations? After the initial essay feedback, I understood that in order to unpack examples more thoroughly, I will follow the structure of point, evidence, analysis, although add an additional step to connect it to my global issue and most importantly my thesis strand. I have to zoom out of precise details and connect to overarching themes and ideas while maintaining purpose and focusing on my proven point.
Potential Area of improvement questions:
- How might you provide a clear thesis statement connected to themes, a clearly related topic sentence, and a building of ideas?
- How might you provide a detailed analysis of the novel instead of descriptions or narrations or summaries?
- How might you identify the use of language and structure to develop themes?
- How might you clearly discuss the conventions of his novel to show your understanding of the body of work?
- How might you structure your essay better to show a clear P-E-A analysis?
How might you structure your essay better to show the connection between your thesis, topic sentences, concluding sentences, and conclusion?
I can review the slide deck and learn relevant terminology in relation to every type of text studied. I cant use generalized terms, instead, I have to use specific and precise wording to avoid simple descriptions. My language should be very clear, effective, carefully chosen, and precise, with a high degree of accuracy in grammar, vocabulary, and sentence construction; register and style are effective and appropriate to the task.
