MODERN LOVE DJ’s mom – copy and pasted from my modern love document

OBSERVATIONS:  

significant changes from the essay

• Time is different from the essay 

• Dog in essay is german shepherd but in the show it was golden retriever 
• Essay- girl is 19 yr old homeless street kid (they know this when the agency contacted them), but in the film, she looks older, drinks, and the agency doesn’t tell 
• The essay jumps to the hospital scene – the couple both in the room –  and they had to “literally had to take him from his mother’s arms as she sat sobbing in her bed.”
  • The other guy leaving the room in the show made it comedic, like a comic relief
  • The series is part comedy and part romance. 
  • Film did not show her sobbing about the baby, but seemed confident about her choice and was very rational. Perhaps trying to avoid controversies like the TV is reinforcing stereotypes that women cannot make up their mind…
• The essay focuses on after the adoption, but the film focused on the process, and the mother and relationships 
• In the essay, the mother seems very irresponsible and dismissive about her child after being adopted “She didn’t gush.”
  • When DJ was 3, his mother stopped calling regularly and visiting.
  • After six months with no contact I started calling hospitals.
  • He went on: “I came out of my mommy’s tummy. I play with my mommy in the park.” Then he looked at me and asked, “When will I see my mommy again?”
    • The film is very different, it ends with the dad telling her a story about her mom, how she was brave etc. 

I’ve heard people say that choosing to live on the streets is a kind of slow-motion suicide. Having known DJ’s mother for seven years now, I’d say that’s accurate. Everything she does seems to court danger. I’ve lost track of the number of her friends and boyfriends who have died of overdoses, alcohol poisoning and hypothermia.

• • Description of choosing to live homeless is different from film, and sort of disapproving

 

• Essay ends with a note about self destruction and how the mother is doing it.  Ends with negative tone, whereas film ended with a hopeful tone 

 

commonalities episode-to-episode —what is the SERIES tone, theme, worldview?

• Difficulties people face in life 
• All new york 

 

questions raised

• Is the mother irresponsible? Or is she just living like a human, unlike all the other capitalists? 
• Is open adoption better? 
• Can a gay couple be parents? 

 

implied answers (to the questions raised)

• In the film- the mother is not that irresponsible, she is an individual. In the film- she is very irresponsible 
• Yes and no… but yes more because the mother can be a part of the child’s life 
• Yes

 

implied values 

• People can choose who they want to be, no one should be confined to a norm 
• Open adoption can sometimes be good 
• Just because values clash, doesn’t mean other is wrong 
• Accepting of homosexuality 

 

assumptions of the audience

• lives in a capitalist society
• Is familiar with the concept of open adoption 

 

How does context matter? how ‘timeless’ and how “time-and-place-bound” are what we say?

•  Context develops a relationship between the reader and the writer. 
  • By knowing the context behind that person, we are able to feel more about their written work. For example, a rude personal essay about how someone sucks is unpleasant to read, but if the author was bullied by that person, we are able to connect with him/her and understand their motive. 
    • Not only are we able to understand motive, we can also sympathise better. 
• Recurring themes like love is timeless, but the way we write/say it is time and place bound because of the language. 
  • Also, if the text includes cultural references, it becomes more time and place bound, as well as tradition. 
  • Eg. Romeo and Juliette’s story is about love- which people in any time and place can relate to, but the setting of the story and the old english (?) it’s written in makes it less timeless.